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June 2004

June 30, 2004

[Got L33t Sp34k?]

L0rd of teh Ringz0r
F3ll0wsh1p of teh R1ng
[At Bilbo's 111th Birthday]
Merry: "Omg, I pwn"
Pippin: "Sif, I pwn"
**Rocket goes off
Gandalf: "Pwned!"
Bilbo: "This = shiz, bai foos"
Bilbo has left the server
Frodo: "***!?"

[later, in Bag End]
Gandalf: "Give teh ringz0r to Frodo"
Bilbo: "Sif! It r precious!"
Gandalf: "STFU NOOB!!!"
Bilbo: "ok"
Gandalf has logged on as admin
Bilbo has been kicked from The Shire

**Later
Gandalf: "Show me teh ring, foo!"
**Gandalf rides out, does some research, comes back
Gandalf: "OMGZ, it R teh ring!"
Frodo: "***?"
Gandalf has logged on as admin
Frodo has been kicked from The Shire
Sam has been kicked from The Shire

[At Isengard]
Gandalf: "sup dawg, i r g4nd4lf da gr3y!"
Saruman: "Foo! U R teh noob!"
Gandalf: "***?!"
Saruman: "Sauron pwns joo!"
Gandalf: "Sif, I R leet"
**Sarumon beats the **** out of Gandalf
Saruman: "Pwned!"

[on the road to Bree]
Merry: "look foos, shrooms!"
Pippin: "Woot! Shrooms!"
Frodo: "Ph34r!"
Sam: "Shrooms!"
Frodo: "PH34R!1!1"
**black rider stops, sniffs, goes past
Frodo: "OMG, packetloss!"

[Bree, in the Inn of the Prancing Pony]
**Frodo is drinking and dancing on a table, then slips
Frodo has left the server
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "OMGz, dc'd"
Aragorn: "OMG, noobz"

[at Weathertop]
Merry: "Mmm, shrooms!"
**MERRY IS BROADCASTING HIS IP ADDRESS!!!
Frodo: "Foos! Ph34r teh haxorz"
**the black riders attack
Merry: "OMG!!!"
Sam: "O.M.G!!!11"
Pippin: "***"
Frodo has left the server
**head nazgul stabs Frodo's ghost
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "***... hax!"
**Aragorn lraps into the fray with a flaming brand
Aragorn: "PH34r!!!!!!"
Merry: "LOLOL flamed! "

[on the road to Rivendell]
Aragorn: "ZOMG!Arwen!"
**Arwen rides up
Aragorn: "A/S/L? Wanna net secks?"
Arwen: "Sif! *** is up with Frodo?"
Sam: "Teh leet Hax0r "
Arwen: "Firewall?"
**Arwen rides off with Frodo, the nazgul give chase. Arwen crosses the ford at Rivendell.
Arwen: "PH34R!! My dad pwns urs!"
**nazgul start to cross
Arwen: "LOLOLOLO noobs!!1!"
**the ford rises up and washes the nazgul away
Warning: Connection Problems Detected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
Arwen: "Pwnt"

[at the Council of Elrond]
Gimli: "dwarves pwn!"
Legolas: "Sif, Elves pwn!"
Boromir: "OLOLOL noobs, men pwn!"
Elrond: "STFU tards!!1!"
**Frodo puts the ring on the plinth
Gimili: "Sif ring pwns all!"
**Gimli swings his axe at it, which shatters
Elrond: "**sigh, noob"

[Frodo meets up with Bilbo]
Bilbo: "OLOL, me = 10th level thief!"
Frodo: "OMG, u r teh pwn!"
Bilbo: "Do u still have teh ringz0r?"
**Frodo shows Bilbo the One Ring
Bilbo: "OMG u tard, I want to TK you!"
Frodo: "sif!"
Bilbo: "ph34r my mithril"

[The Fellowship leaves Rivendell]
**Gandalf leads the fellowship through the mountains
Legolas: "ZOMG, leet gfx!"
Gimli: "I R dropping frames! FFS"
**There's an avalanche which threatens to knock them off the shelf
Gimli: "Gandalf, teh draw distance is too far!1!!1"
Gandalf: "**Sigh. Moria?"
Gimli votes to change map to Moria
Votes 4 of 4 required
Legolas: "lolol Gimli, time to upgrade!"

[The fellowship approaches the gates of Moria]
Gandalf: "FFS, its too hard! Anyone got a walkthrough?"
**The gates of Mordor open, but the Guardian attacks!
Frodo: "OMG! ph34r!"
Boromir: "GL HF"
Aragorn [broadsword] guardian
Legolas [arrow] guardian
Gandalf: "gg"

[The fellowship enters the mines of Moria]
Gimli: "OMG!!!! PWNED!"
**After travelling some time in the dark the Fellowship come to a chamber with a large well
Gandalf: "Teh bookz0r has some clues!"
**Merry knocks a skeleton in armour down the well
Gandalf: "OMG! noob!"
Merry: "d'oh"
**The fellowship hears the ork drums
Boromir: "***?"
Aragorn: "***?"
Frodo: "..."
Gandalf: "Oh ffs >.<"
**the fellowhip shores up the doors as the orks come
Boromir: "TEAMS FFS!"
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Boromir [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
ork: "OMG! h4x!"
Gimli: "pwned"!
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas: "lol!!"
Boromir [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Gimli: "Foos!"
Legolas [arrow] ork
ork: "ffs, wallhax!"
**The cavetroll enters the chambers destroying the doors
Gandalf: "Oh ffs!"
Boromir: "Omg, its teh boss!"
Aragorn: "Sif noob, we're not at teh end yet!"
**Cavetroll slams Boromir and Aragorn out of the way, and then skewers Frodo
Sam: "OMG!"
Gandalf: "OMG!"
Aragorn: "omg, pwn!"
**Legolas jumps on the cavetroll and shoots arrows down into its head
Legolas [arrow] cavetroll
Ork: "OMG! PWNED!"
Gimli: "LOLOOLOL! noobs"
**The fellowship then runs through Moria, chased the whole way by a horde of orks
Boromir: "FFS! Teams, foos!"
**A flaming shadow starts to follow them, and the orks withdraw
Aragorn: "Now THIS is teh boss!"
Gandalf: "OMG!"
**The fellowship take to long flights of stairs that are starting to crumble and fall. Orks shoot at them with arrows.
Legolas: "LOL, noobs. Chex0r this out!1!"
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
ork: "AIMBOT!"
ork: "turn it off!"
Legolas: "lolol!"
**The fellowship crosses a bridge, Gandalf stops to confront the balrog
Gandalf: "joo shall not pass!"
Balrog: "***?"
Gandalf: "JOO SHALL NOT PASS!"
Balrog: "Sif, noob"
**Gandalf strikes the bridge with his staff, cracking it and causing it to break under the Balrog's weight
Balrog: "ZOMG! PWNED!"
Frodo: "OMG! Gandalf!"
**The Balrog falls and in a last act of defiance strikes out with its whip, entangling Gandalf
Gandalf: "D'oh"
Frodo: "OMG, joo foo!"
Gandalf: "fly u foos, fly!"
**Gandalf lets go and follows the Balrog into the crevass
Gandalf has left the server
Balrog has disconnected

[After escaping Moria the fellowship finds itself in Loth Lorien]
**The fellowship rests, and in the night Frodo speaks with Galadriel
Galadriel: "For a noob, u r teh leet!"
Frodo: "Sif. I don't want teh ringz0r. Do u want teh ringz0r?"
Galadriel: "******! SIF I want teh ringz0r. I have enough h4x of my own!1"

[The fellowship leaves Loth Lorien and sets out via river]
Saurman: "ph34r my army of uruk hai! Go outz0r, find teh hobbitz and pwnz0r them!"
uruk hai: "leet!"

[stopping at the banks of the river, the Fellowship sets up camp]
**Frodo goes off looking for firewood, Boromir follows and confronts him
Boromir: "Gimmie teh ringz0r so ur hax can fight teh boss!"
Frodo: "Sif, foo. Punkbuster will pwn joo!"
Boromir: "Naw, we play on non-pb servers"
Frodo: "STFU noob"
Frodo has left the server
Boromir: "***! FRODO! Bring teh ringz0r back, faghat!"
**A group of Uruk Hai encounter Boromir
Boromir: "OH FFS, TEAMS!!"
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Boromir: "****ing campers"
**Aragorn comes across the battle
Aragorn: "Boromir joo noob! ***!"
Uruk Hai: "Hah, pwn!"
Aragorn [broadsword] Uruk Hai
Aragorn: "I bring joo teh pwn!"
**Aragorn goes to Boromir
Boromir: "Damn lag!"
Warning: Connection problems detected
Boromir has disconnected
Aragorn: "FFS!"

[Frodo returns to the bank of the river where he gets into a boat. Sam 'sees' him]
Sam: "Frodo! ***! Invisibility h4x!"
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "Sam, STFU and FOAD!"
Sam: "Sif!"
Frodo: "Oh, ffs noob!"

End.

Posted at 10:44 PM

June 29, 2004

Hopefully it doesn't seem like I'm beating this particular horse to death, but I read a great column in the Minneapolis Star Tribune that emphasizes the points I've been trying to make over the last few days regarding the differences between the Democratic and Republican parties here in the United States. To some of you this is probably tremendous overkill, but I feel too passionately about these issues to drop them too quickly. Besides, what else would I post in this Journal other than more whining about how depressed I am?

Susan Lenfestey: Parties focus on different moralities

Last week in Illinois the Republican U.S. Senate candidate, Jack Ryan, withdrew from the race after his divorce records revealed that he had taken his now ex-wife to kinky sex clubs. He admitted that he had taken her to one such club in Paris, and that was enough to do him in. A few days later he exited the race.

The class-act story here is Barack Obama, Ryan's Democratic opponent. A rising star in the Democratic Party, Obama responded to news of his opponent's sexcapades by saying, "I don't really care about private morality, I'm more concerned with public morality."

In that statement lies the root of the great cultural divide between hard-core Democrats and religious Republicans.

Democrats are outraged over the public immorality of George W. Bush and his administration -- its justifications, denials and lies about everything from corporate complicity to the reasons for invading Iraq.

Republicans seem far more consumed by private morality -- gays who seek the "normalcy" of marriage, women who confront the difficult choice to end a pregnancy, and, paradoxically, the sex life of their own Jack Ryan.

Bringing both groups to a full boil are the side-by-side releases of Bill Clinton's autobiography, "My Life," and Michael Moore's contentious blockbuster film, "Fahrenheit 9/11."

With Bill Clinton making the chat-show rounds we once again visit the lapse in his personal morality that imploded his otherwise extraordinary presidency. Out of 957 pages about a complicated and brilliant man, the press has fixated on those dealing with Monica Lewinsky. "I did it because I could," says a barely penitent Clinton of his infamous dalliance, and half the nation gags while the other half stifles a yawn.

But it's George Bush's lack of public morality that's on display in "Fahrenheit 9/11." We see him profiting from his family's old and oily ties to the Bin Laden family and from his cozy cheek-to-cheek relationship with his father's corporate cronies. In one clip from the film Bush is seen at an elegant white-tie fundraiser smugly joking, "Some people call you the elite; I call you my base."

More disturbing is the footage which portrays him as a man lacking the gravitas to understand the cataclysmic consequences of his public actions. He rolls his eyes and mugs for the camera as the clock ticks down to his televised announcement that he has ordered the bombing of Iraq. He comes across not as a man wrestling with the morality of his decision, but as a man blowing up a foreign country, because he can.

Predictably the film has roiled the fair and balanced sensibilities of Bush's right-wing claque.

The conservative Citizens United, which played a leading role in pressuring CBS to pull its Reagan docudrama off the air last fall, has filed suit with the Federal Elections Commission alleging that ads for the film are political and should not be allowed to air on TV. Other pro-Bushies have called for boycotts of theaters which run the film and denounced Moore as an "America hater."

David Brooks, the New York Times columnist who writes with a well-crafted right-wing slant, excoriated not only Michael Moore, but American liberals for what he calls their adulation of Moore. "The standards of socially acceptable liberal opinion have shifted," he writes. "We're a long way from John Dewey." Well, yes, and a long way from Dewey's Republican contemporary, President Teddy Roosevelt, for that matter, who once said, "Public rights come first; public interest second."

Brooks et al. don't have a leg to stand on when the best-known media standard bearer of conservative opinion is Rush Limbaugh, no slacker himself in the private immorality sweepstakes, with a cadre of lying radio jackals yipping along behind him.

Bill Clinton's personal immorality distracted a nation and hurt him and his family terribly, but he presided over a bountiful eight years, eliminated the national debt and honed America's image abroad to a sparkling finish, at least in the eyes of all but the most rabid fundamentalists like the Taliban and Osama bin Laden. Back then, most people wanted to be like us.

George Bush may have a very tidy private life, but his public immorality has squandered billions of dollars as well as world opinion and prestige. It has saddled our children's futures with billowing debt, sold the nation's environment to the highest bidder and compromised its health to appease the religious right.

And it has resulted in the deaths of over 850 Americans and thousands of Iraqis, leaving broken and anguished families in both countries, with an unclear plan, at best, for the future. It is this anguish which Moore documents most wrenchingly.

Barack Obama wouldn't have put it this way, but given the stakes, I'm more concerned with the public fool than the private philanderer.

Posted at 12:39 AM

June 28, 2004

It rained most of the day today, and I've continued to be feeling lonely and depressed, so I decided to play a computer game as both a distraction and maybe something to lift my spirits. Of course I didn't really plan on playing all day, but that's just about how it went. I covered about the first 5500 years of a game of Civilization III, though, and I'm quite populous and advanced for only being at 1300 A.D. It was a good distraction, mostly, but it did nothing to lift my spirits. I don't really know what will at this point. I'll just keep trying to get by, though. There's not much else to do.

Posted at 12:13 AM

June 27, 2004

This column in today's Washington Post points out a real problem in American politics, not merely the fact that we've become stuck in a two-party-only system, with next-to-no chance for another party to gain any prominence, but that we've allowed the two parties to become so entrenched in various areas that all pretence of any choice at all has been eliminated. For our representative style of government to work, there must be an even competition everywhere among candidates from different parties, even if that means only a limited two choices.

Wake up America! Take back your ability to choose and take back your country. Take action now - it may already be too late.

A Recipe for Incivility

There are countless reasons for this breakdown, but one underlying cause is the constitutionally mandated redistricting process as it is conducted in most states these days. In far too many states the two parties have engaged in an unholy alliance to protect their incumbents and avoid the rigors of political contests. In others, the dominance of one political party has been so overwhelming that it has written the rules to ensure that its domination continues, packing all adherents of the opposition party into the fewest possible districts, no matter how egregious the gerrymandering required.

Consistently now in general elections, well over 90 percent of congressional races are vir- tually uncontested. The absence of any contest has contributed to the increasing absence of voters: Why bother? The impact on civility and civil discourse, on constructive debate and comity, is even more pernicious. The pattern of redistricting as it has evolved leads to such results.

As legislators huddle in their quiet decennial conversations to craft new voting districts, it's not unnatural for them to want to assign their opponents to someone else's district. As this is applied in the real world, of course, sooner or later the incumbents who are making these judgments realize how nice it would be to make a trade. "I'll give him all the people in my area who vote his way, and he can give me all those who vote my way. Then we can both run in solid districts reflecting the values of our own party."

Sounds logical, but the result is less dialogue, less comity and more partisanship. Anyone who doubts this has not been paying attention to the "debates" in Congress over the past decade or so.

Let's assume that 60 or 70 percent of the voters in any district are adherents of one political party. Candidates in that district have to be concerned with winning only the primary; the general election is a foregone conclusion. Winning the primary requires that they talk only to the local party activists -- usually the party "purists." In more than 90 percent of congressional districts, success in the dominant party's primary is tantamount to election.

If a candidate need talk only to those who are most fervent in support of the party, he or she doesn't have to listen to, or even speak to, people in the center, much less those of the other party. As a matter of fact, candidates seen cozying up to people on the other side of the political aisle might put their own primary prospects at risk.

We're increasingly moving to a political system that looks, and feels, like a political barbell: one where all the weight is at the ends of the spectrum, leaving those in the center with little voice or opportunity for impact. It's dangerous, it's counterproductive and I think it represents an assault upon the constitutional premise of balance which has so graced the first two centuries of this republic.

There is an alternative. One state has chosen a better route: In Iowa, the districting is done by an independent commission, and, as I understand it, the rules are fairly straightforward. They seek to draw districts that are compact and contiguous -- both happily appropriate constitutional terms -- and, to the extent possible, ones that adhere to county lines. All this without regard to party. The result: Most contests in Iowa really are contests. Many would argue that the Iowa delegation has been consistently one whose members seek solutions that often require the participation of partisans from both side of the political aisle. Not a bad result.

Members of Congress are overwhelmingly competent, caring, honorable and decent public servants. One has only to look at their schedules to know they are extremely hardworking. Yet they are working within a system that too often makes it risky, if not downright dangerous, to reach across party lines to try to solve national problems.

That can lead only to stalemate, and I believe it has come perilously close to that destination.

The writer served as a representative and senator from Tennessee. He was chairman of the Republican National Committee from 1977 to 1981.

Posted at 2:17 AM

June 26, 2004

I've wanted, for quite a while, to comment about the idea of a "liberal press." You've heard the term before, usually cited by some neo-conservative or Christian fundamentalist (or a Republican, which is pretty much the same thing most of the time). Their belief is that the press is full of liberals and is sympathetic to Democrats, often to the extent of being anti-conservative or anti-Republican. Personally I don't believe that such a thing has ever been the case, but I will accept that the press was certainly more liberal in the past, when incidents like Watergate and Iran-Contra were major scandals.

Currently, however, and for the last fifteen years or more, I don't see how anyone can claim that there is a "liberal press." Bill Clinton was constantly denigrated by the press for his affair with Monica Lewinski, yet when his predecessor, George Bush Senior, had an affair, it was backpage news, barely mentioned and quickly forgotten. When Clinton decided to send troops into Bosnia he was attacked by the press and accused of "wagging the dog," yet George W. Bush, our current version of the president, has never been accused of using the war in Iraq as a political tool. Yes, he has faced criticism, but not in the same levels as Clinton (and at least Clinton made his military action and finished it quickly). Most of the things the press does are subtle, and some will accuse me of reading my own interpretations into things, but at a minimum it must at least be accepted that the press is far from being liberally dominated. I would more likely suggest that we have a "conservative press" based on what is to be seen on TV, in newspapers, on radio, and on the net. For one thing, consider how many conservative political talk shows and news programs there are compared to liberal versions. There are dozens of conservative programs of that ilk but less liberal versions than you can count on one hand. And consider who owns all of the media sources in this country. With the various mergers and buyouts in recent years, most newspapers, television stations and radio stations, most news and entertainment sources are owned and run by conservatives, and their views reign supreme.

I'm sure that you either agree with me or you don't, and no amount of arguing on my part will likely change your mind ... so I'll move to a not-quite-related but connected issue - the nasty, degenerate, juvenile, and foul-mouthed rhetoric of the Republican party.

You may or may not be aware that Dick Cheney, our standing vice president, told Democratic Senator Patrick Leahy to "go fuck himself" in a discussion on the Senate floor. As this article points out, this isn't the only negative attack of a Republican on a Democrat, and you may take note that while the tone of this article tries to suggest that both political parties are equally as vicious, no examples are given of Democrats attacking Republicans. I'll also point out that George Bush has tried to connect images of Hitler to John Kerry and other Democrats in their fight against the Kerry campaign for the presidency. While the democratic group MoveOn.org briefly used a similar tactic that was far from being endorsed by Senator Kerry, the Bush campaign gleefully states that they have no intention of removing this ad and note that it has George Bush's full approval.

All of this just goes to show how cruel, bigoted, mean-spirited, and foul-mouthed the Republicans are. Are there the kind of people you want in political office representing you to the rest of the world?

Civility drops to a low point in X-rated Congress

WASHINGTON (AP) -- In 1856 a House member from South Carolina took his cane to an abolitionist senator from Massachusetts, bloodying the Senate floor and leaving the man near death. Capitol attacks these days are not as dramatic, but lawmakers from both parties lament what has become another low point in political civility.

In the latest episode, Vice President Dick Cheney used an obscenity beginning with "F" in an exchange with Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-Vermont, on the Senate floor where members had gathered for a group photo. "I was kind of shocked to hear that kind of language on the floor," Leahy said of the incident this week.

Maybe he shouldn't have been. Just days before, Senate Judiciary Committee Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, had referred to a proposal by Leahy to subpoena Justice Department memos on prisoner interrogation as a "dumb-ass" idea.

The occasional obscenities in a body where "my good friend" is the usual form of address are indicative of what has become a poisonous atmosphere in Congress this year. Tempers have been shortened by the war in Iraq and an election campaign in which Democrats, hoping to capture the White House and Congress, are on the offensive.

"It's as bad as I've seen it in my 10 years in Congress," said Rep. Ray LaHood of Illinois, a moderate Republican who has led efforts to make the House a more civil place. LaHood has helped organize a bipartisan retreat at the start of every session so lawmakers can get to know each other better, but he has concluded that "the will of the membership is not there to do it next year."

LaHood said things started going downhill a year ago, when a slew of Democratic presidential candidates began criticizing President Bush.

House Democratic Whip Steny Hoyer of Maryland dated the lack of comity back to 1978, when Republican Newt Gingrich came to Congress with his confrontational agenda. He said things have gotten worse recently because of unfair treatment by the Republican majority.

House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi this week sent Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-Illinois, a proposal on protecting minority rights, whoever is in power. "Too often, incivility and the heavy hand of the majority have substituted for thoughtful debate," she said. There was no immediate response from the speaker.

Pelosi and Hastert rarely confer on policy matters, which is not new to the House. Gingrich, when he was speaker, went for months without speaking to Democratic leader Dick Gephardt.

In the more decorous Senate, Majority Leader Bill Frist, R-Tennessee, and Democratic leader Tom Daschle of South Dakota consult daily. But Frist also recently broke tradition and put cordiality to the test by traveling to South Dakota to campaign for Daschle's rival in the fall elections.

Kathleen Hall Jamieson, director of the Annenberg Public Policy Center at the University of Pennsylvania, said civility generally tends to break down when the minority feels it is being oppressed by the majority, or in an election season when the House and Senate floors are used for campaigning.

She said this year's increase in tension hasn't matched that of 1995, after the Gingrich-led Republicans took over the House, or of 1998 when impeachment proceedings against President Clinton began.

Also in the past several weeks:

• Rep. Chris Bell, D-Texas, who was defeated in the Texas primary, the victim of redistricting engineered by Majority Leader Tom DeLay, R-Texas, filed a complaint against DeLay with the House ethics committee, ending an unofficial truce on one member filing charges against another.

• Rep. Patrick Kennedy, D-Rhode Island, and Rep. Duke Cunningham, R-California, squared off at a committee meeting after Kennedy overheard Cunningham make a remark about Chappaquiddick, the Massachusetts island where Kennedy's father Sen. Edward Kennedy, D-Massachusetts, drove off a bridge in 1969, drowning a female aide who was in the car. They later apologized to each other.

• Showing that aggressive language isn't always across party lines, DeLay this week went after Senate Republicans who differ with the House on spending levels on a highway bill, saying they were using the bill as a "slush fund to rob other programs."

• House Ways and Means Committee Chairman Bill Thomas, R-California, who last year called Capitol Police over a dispute with committee Democrats, said on the floor this week that Rep. Pete Stark's 8-year-old son "has a job being a shield for his father." The comment came after Stark, D-California, said GOP tax breaks were an "obscenity" his son would have to pay for in the future.

Hitler Image Used in Bush Campaign Web Ad

WASHINGTON (AP) - Adolf Hitler's image has surfaced again in the White House race. President Bush's campaign is featuring online video of the Nazi dictator, taken down months ago from a liberal group's Web site and disavowed, in a spot that intersperses clips of speeches by Democrats John Kerry, Al Gore and Howard Dean.

Democrats want the video pulled from the site. Campaign aides said it would remain.

Republicans had criticized the group MoveOn.org in January because it briefly posted an ad contest entry that linked Hitler and Bush. It showed images of Bush with text saying, ``God told me to strike at al-Qaida,'' before turning to images of Hitler with the words, ``And then He instructed me to strike at Saddam.'' The submission ended with the words, ``Sound familiar?'' on a black and white screen.

The group later said the entry was in ``poor taste'' and pulled it from its site.

The 77-second video on the Bush-Cheney re-election site splices footage of Kerry, the presumptive nominee, and his 2004 rival Dean along with 2000 nominee Gore and film director Michael Moore. The spot calls them Kerry's ``Coalition of the Wild-eyed.'' Clips of Hitler's image are seen throughout the spot.

``The use of Adolf Hitler by any campaign, politician or party is simply wrong,'' said Kerry's campaign, Mary Beth Cahill, who called on the GOP campaign to remove the Web video from its site.

``We're using the video from MoveOn.org to show our supporters the type of vitriolic rhetoric being used by the president's opponents and John Kerry's surrogates,'' said Scott Stanzel, a spokesman for the Bush-Cheney re-election campaign.

The Bush-Cheney video spot appeared on the campaign Web site Thursday and was sent electronically to 6 million supporters.

The online spot begins with clips of Gore assailing the Bush administration. ``How dare they drag the good name of the United States of America through the mud of Saddam Hussein's torture prison,'' Gore shouts during a public speech.

It then cuts to an image of Hitler, followed Dean, Moore and Rep. Dick Gephardt, D-Mo., all bashing Bush. There are more clips of Hitler, Gore and then Kerry, before the screen cuts to the words, ``This is not a time for pessimism and rage.'' Video images of Bush follow.

A disclaimer was added to the beginning of the Web spot on Saturday afternoon to explain that the video contains ``remarks made by and images from ads sponsored by Kerry supporters.'' The disclaimer also accuses Kerry of failing to denounce those who have compared Hitler to Bush.

Posted at 11:59 PM

June 25, 2004

I've been reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire for the past couple of days, and I finished last night just after 3 AM. I'd purchased the book early last summer, but there was never any time to read it around settling in after the move and then with everything I needed to do for school. I finally decided I'd read it some time this summer, and when I learned that Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban would be released in theatres over the summer, I decided I'd read the fourth book after watching the third movie.

As unimpressed as I ended up being with the movie last week, I was ecstatic about this fourth book. The whole cast gained much greater, in-depth char4acterizations and backgrounds; there were a large number of various major and minor plotlines weaving in and out of each other; past events, characters, and spells were drawn back into this book seamlessly, making this feel more fully 'real' as a living story; and the action, excitement, and mystery were high-pitched and constant. At 734 pages this was a lengthy tome, but I sped through my reading in about two and a half days around other things. I was truly disappointed when I wrapped up, not because of the story being disappointing but because I wanted to read more and more. The fact that this book closes without a clear ending, clearly showing events still in motion that will continue into the next book, did nothing to help quell my desire to read further.

Of course Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix has been out for a while but only in hardback. I've been collecting the softback set, and I wait until they come out before buying them. I'm really regretting that now because I really want to read that next book. But if nothing else, patience is one of my greatest virtues. I'll wait; I'll savor the idea of being able to read that next book; and once I finally get my hands on it I'll enjoy reading it even more because of the anticipation.

Posted at 2:04 AM

June 24, 2004

It occurred to me today, while I was fixing dinner, that a great spoof could be made (or even just written) that uses the formula and premise of the 70's TV show Welcome Back Kotter and combining it with the Harry Potter universe. It could be called Welcome Back Potter, and it would see Harry returning to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as a professor, set to teach the most troubled and troubling students in the school and hounded by the same man who hounded him when he was a student at the school, Severus Snape, now not merely a professor but fully installed as the headmaster. The possible parallels are so simple to achieve, and the potential for formulaic storylines with a decent amount of amusement value is at least as good as anything currently coming out of any television network, even on cable.

Posted at 11:18 PM

June 23, 2004

And then there's Maude ...

Posted at 11:40 PM

June 22, 2004

... and yet I can't help feeling like my life is empty and pointless.

Posted at 11:31 PM

June 21, 2004

Christiana slept in a bit today, but we finally got ourselves together and headed to Damon's for lunch. My grandmother had attended her usual aquanastics program at the YMCA and then headed to lunch, and she had returned by the time we got back to the house. The three of us went to Toft's for some ice cream not long after that, and then, after dropping off my grandmother at home, Christiana and I headed back to Toledo.

Christiana had bought a used laptop on eBay, and it had arrived at her mom's house earlier in the day. We checked out the machine and the accessories and things looked good, although we had to experiment a bit to be sure what all the previous owner had included, both concerning hardware and software. Christiana also had me help her look through all of her boxed belongings that are in storage, searching for materials she could use in her thesis for her master's degree. That took a while and we weren't finished until after 10 PM, but we called Steve to join us for coffee and dinner/snacks at Big Boy for a while.

Christiana and I had been talking about various things all day, and we had more conversation with Steve at Big Boy, but we were all running out of steam by the time we left at 12:30 AM. I drove Christiana back to her mom's and then I headed to Sandusky, hitting a lengthy detour on the way unfortunately. I got back to the house about 2:45 AM, and I'm just finishing this Journal entry now, much too late in the morning for anybody's good.

My pillow looks very inviting at the moment.

Posted Written at 3:29 AM

June 20, 2004

Today was much simpler than yesterday, but Christiana and I still had a great time. Christiana slept in a bit, but as we got coffee in her she woke up quickly and I gave her the grand tour of the house and yard, showing her all I had been doing to improve things. My grandmother was at church during the morning and went to lunch with her friend Mary afterward, so Christiana and I got ourselves cleaned up and went to the nearby Friday's for lunch. The food was good, the conversation was pleasant, the w3aiter was cute, and the guy at the booth where I was staring during the entire meal was gorgeous - so that was a great meal.

Afterward we made our way to the movie theatre to see Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Since I get out so little, all movies are enjoyable, and that was the case with this movie. However, I don't share the sentiments of most reviewers because I felt this movie was less scary and less interesting than the previous two. It was definitely darker, visually, and I applaud that, but there was nothing scary or dramatic here, even though the story made for scary moments. In fact a lot of the problem was the variation from the book, cutting out sections or revising them. I understand that was a necessary must considering the length of the book, but I feel that the story suffered because of the changes. Even so, it was a good movie - just not nearly as good as I had expected or wanted.

We drove back to the house afterward and ended up searching for nearly an hour for one of my grandmother's hearing aids, which she had set down somewhere and lost. We still haven't found the hearing aid, but I can only hope that it will turn up in time. I made a nice dinner for the three of us, and we talked (mostly my grandmother talked) for the next over three hours, reminiscing mostly. Christiana and I watched a bit of tv and chatted after that, but Christiana tired out soon after and headed to bed. I watched some more tv and surfed the net, but now that I'm writing this Journal entry I'm finding myself a bit ready for sleep. I just need to finish things up and then upload this, then it's off to bed. It was a good day.

Posted Written at 12:07 AM

June 19, 2004

Today was a big day in Toledo, visiting old friends, talking, and exploring some of the changes in the city. I had originally planned to get together with Christiana and Steve around Noon and spend the rest of the day with both of them, then go by myself in the evening to the Glassmen DCI Drum Corps Festival, something I used to attend regularly but have missed for a few years. As it turned out, none of that went as planned.

Christiana, as it turns out, had been roped into slaving for an anniversary party/barbeque for her mother, and she was stuck until the end of the afternoon. I still wanted to spend time with Steve, so I made plans with him, but I got a late start from Sandusky so I didn't arrive at his house until nearly 1:30 PM. We went from there to a home-style meal for lunch at Al Smith's Place, a local Toledo chain of restaurants, and talked for a long while about politics and Steve's prospects with the company he has been outsourced to. We left after a couple of hours and drove around the Westfield Franklin Park Mall. I had wanted to check out the construction being done for this most recent mall expansion, and although there wasn't much to see it was clear that it will encompass a very large new space. From there we drove around a bit and talking and made our way to North Towne Mall, one of three malls on the edges of town that are having trouble keeping busy and full of stores, unlike the ever-expanding Franklin Park which sits at the center of town. North Towne is by far the worst of all of the malls in Toledo. There are derelict strip malls that are more prosperous. For the whole mall, I believe that Steve and I found only a dozen or less stores in business (and not even all of those were open). There were no anchor stores, only two stores that were part of national chains, and and three quarters of the parking lots were being used as overflow storage lot space for Jeep Libertys from the nearby Jeep manufacturing plant. It wasn't remotely worth keeping the mall complex open.

Steve and I rescued Christiana from her family shortly after that and talked and drove for a few minutes until we realized we were near the Friedel's, the parents of one of Steve's and my formerly mutual friends (Wallace was a great guy and friend, but he is quite homophobic (even though he eventually tried to overcome that) and he has no time or interest in other people now that he's married. It's a shame, but that's the way of things). Anyhow, Steve and I have always liked, appreciated, and enjoyed Ruth Ann and Wallace Senior, and we decided to stop by. We ended up staying and chatting for about an hour and a half, seeing Wallace's older sister Kathleen as well, and then made our way to dinner and the New China Buffet, an inexpensive but yummy treat. We continued talking about politics and Toledo and world economics and terrorism and, of course, the coming elections - and a myriad of other topics. In fact we talked 'til closing at the New China Buffet and then moved to Maxwell's Brew, a coffee house near the University of Toledo campus and talked more until they closed as well. By that time, 12:30 AM, we figured we had worn out our welcome and I drove Steve home, talking all the way and enjoying ourselves.

Christiana and I continued from there through town on our way back to Sandusky where she'll be staying with me for a couple of days, giving her a chance to get away from her mom for a bit before she returns to Washington. We talked all of the way back but we were winding by the time we got back around 2 AM. I set her up in the guest room and surfer the net to wind down, and now I'm finally getting to a Journal entry (which I have been falling asleep trying to finish). Tomorrow should be fun with Christiana around, though, and today has been quite a nice change of pace. Now I can rest easy.

Posted Written at 2:56 AM

June 18, 2004

It has now been a week since the Ronald Reagan Funeral EXTRAVAGANZA, and I feel it is time to weigh in with my own opinions. Even though I was constantly sickened by the sycophantic ravings of the conservative press brigades, claiming that Reagan was as sainted as Mother Theresa and had no faults, I felt that a week should be left before making any comments of my own, in deference to the passing of Mr. Reagan. The week is now up, and I have quite a few differences of opinion with the glowing praise Reagan has received.

Let me first state that Reagan was a very good speaker and had a certain charisma and confidence that calmed America after having gone through huge inflation, a troubling energy crisis, and our first real threat from terrorists when Americans were held hostage in Iran. Reagan was a grandfatherly figure and people wanted to believe him (and believe in him), and when Reagan waved the flag of patriotism, people believed him and felt patriotic, too. I have no doubt in fact that Reagan truly was a patriot and that5 he thought he was doing the right things based on his ideology. The problem is that his ideology was screwed to a very conservative, very extremist, very blinded, and very bigoted extent.

It has been rare to find anyone who has written a news article or published a column that says anything negative about Reagan in these past couple of weeks. The problem is that history and factual data prove the truth:

Reagan gave tax cuts by leaps and bounds to wealthy Americans and big corporations; he changed regulations on banking that led to the Savings and Loan Scandals; he ballooned the federal debt to five times its previous size, the greatest it had ever been by far; his increased arms race against the USSR threw billions upon billions into unusable military weapons and threatened the stability of peace between the superpowers (and this did not end the cold war and lead to the fall of the USSR and the Berlin wall - saying that demeans the actions of MIkhail Gorbachev and the revolutionaries in Germany, Poland, and many slavic nations, and it flies in the face of factual data from Russia which shows that the Soviet Union was already crumbling financially and politically before Reagan came into office. Even if he accelerated the collapse of that communist regime (which is highly debatable), he is not solely responsible for ending the cold war); Reagan was also bigoted in his vetoing or swaying of votes on legislation that would have been beneficial to minorities, black people in particular; and his record on AIDS speaks for itself, showing how he not only willfully allowed tens of thousands of gay men to die while the Centers for Disease Control suggested possibilities for treatment and study, but also showing how he and his administration literally laughed at the deaths of those gay men and claimed it was "God's judgment" on them .

This doesn't even mention Reagan's failure to respond to the Beirut bombings by terrorists; his beginning of the unwon and unwinnable war on drugs that has, ironically, made the drug trade even stronger; the conviction of over 40 members of his staff and administration on felony charges during his administration; his directing of the Iran-Contra scandal; or his support and establishment of extremist governments including Saddam Hussein in Iraq, the Taliban in Afghanistan, and Pinochet in Chile.

Sadly that's not even a complete list of things he did absolutely and terribly wrong. He may have made the country feel good, and he may have told people we were doing great, but he was an actor people - that's what he was good at. The truth in this case is much stranger than fiction.

I have managed to uncover some good articles that I do agree with. Their assessments of Reagan are much more accurate and much less sentimental that the tripe we were handed during the pomp of his funeral, and I encourage you to not only read these but to research the actual history as well. The truth is there, plain and simple in black and white factual evidence, and Reagan can't escape the truth of history. He really wasn't a very good president, not for his time and not for times to come. Read on and see articles from: Mark Morford at the San Fransisco Chronicle, Richard Cohen at the Washington Post, Steve Gillard's news blog, an article from the Advocate, and a blog entry from a place called the Whisky Bar. The following text is the first two of those articles, but I encourage you to read them all. I know this makes for a huge Journal entry for me, but there is a great deal of ugly truth that was unfairly left out of the recently-televised memories of Reagan.

Enough With Reagan Already:
The Gipper's true legacy? Making the GOP as it is today: nasty, brutish and shortsighted

Let's get this straight. Ronnie Reagan allowed AIDS to flourish for years after it was discovered and did next to nothing to stem its virulent, lethal tide, and wouldn't even utter the word until the end of his term, when it was too late.

Ronnie Reagan denied the existence of the nation's homeless problem that he largely created, and then blamed the problem on not enough people caring to get out there and get a job as he meanwhile slashed civil services and assistance for the poor.

Ronnie Reagan pillaged the U.S. Treasury and ballooned the deficit more than 100 percent during his term. He gave the wealthy enormous tax breaks and gouged the living crap out of health care and social services and increased defense spending so much you'd think America was on the verge of being attacked by giant marauding alien centipedes.

Get that man's face on the dime!

History credits Reagan with ending the Cold War and putting the final nail in the already-collapsing Soviet coffin. Which he did, sort of, but not really, mostly via a massive, budget-reaming arms buildup and via strong-arming the world and launching Star Wars and by playing nice with all manner of dictators and then surprising everyone by siding with Gorbachev on disarmament.

All while selling some slick, bloated version of an uber-patriotic, thick-necked, sanitized America to a dazzled populace who were utterly hypnotized by the man's silky-smooth ability to make toxic policy sound like Disneyland.

Let's get this straight: Ronnie Reagan should have been impeached for his role in the Iran-Contra scandal, for launching an illegal war on Nicaragua, for applauding genocide in Guatemala and death squads in El Salvador. Ronnie Reagan worked tirelessly to roll back abortion rights, affirmative action and civil rights and was instrumental in diminishing the voice and strength of the U.N. Ronnie Reagan opposed stem-cell research, which could have helped end the horrible suffering of the last decade of his own life.

Get that man's face on the 20-dollar bill!

Let us not forget: Ronnie Reagan's secretary of the interior, James Watt, was indicted on more than 40 felony counts for leveraging his connections at the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development to help his cronies seek federal funds for housing projects. Nothing like a little prison time for one of your key Cabinet members to make your administration really shine.

As Tim Noah of Slate points out, Saddam's now-famous gassing of the Kurds, the horrific event that BushCo never ceases to point to as really really bad, occurred on Reagan's watch. And, in 1984, when Reagan's hawks received their first reports that Iraq was engaged in chemical warfare (using chemicals sold to him, in part, by the United States), they chose to shake hands with Saddam and ignore it.

Give that man's fluffy head a spot on Mount Rushmore!

Reagan the great government shrinker? Reagan the great decreaser of budget spending? Whatever. Truth is, spending actually increased by one-fourth, even factoring out inflation, during his term. Know who reversed that? Who actually decreased spending as an overall percentage of GNP and reduced the size of government during his term? Bill "Big Government" Clinton, that's who. Whatta jerk.

Can we forget the lovely winking deal Reagan made with the Ayatollah Khomeini to hang on to those 52 American hostages in Iran till after the 1980 election in order to make Jimmy Carter look small and weak? Shall we remember how Reagan took full credit for their release, when he had almost nothing to do with it? True American hero, that Gipper.

Ronnie Reagan tried to tell poor people that ketchup was a vegetable.

Ronnie Reagan was largely detested by his own children and wasn't exactly highly respected for his intellect by his own Cabinet, and his general vagueness and lack of nuanced understanding of how government works -- not to mention how to pronounce the names of foreign leaders and countries -- is matched only by the current least articulate least intelligent least educated least attuned least globally respected man who now stumbles though the Oval Office with a smirky Texas pseudo-swagger.

Reagan could be famously snarling, pinched, mean. As California governor, he fully cooperated with the CIA to investigate all those nasty commie uprisings in the UC system, ended the career of then-UC President Clark Kerr and famously warned student protesters, "If there has to be a bloodbath, then let's get it over with." What a sweetie. Is it too much to call Reagan "a cruel and stupid lizard" and "dumb as a stump," as Christopher Hitchins writes? You be the judge.

Ronnie Reagan deregulated major industry and essentially loosed corporate America upon an unsuspecting populace, including the savings-and-loan companies, all while opening the national treasury for his wealthy pals to loot. He promised a crackdown on out-of-control deficit spending while working furiously to double the national debt. "Reagan taught us that deficits don't matter," oozed a very proud Dick Cheney, sneeringly.

But let's be fair. Let's look on Ronnie's good side, the legacy, the reason tens of thousands are mourning the Gipper's passing and why an aging boomer nation is still held rapt by this most beguiling and masterful of proto-American Hollywood salesmen.

Reagan was, as widely noted, a pragmatist. He was a seductive charmer. Gracious. He stood by his warped ideals and admitted his mistakes and followed through on many of his promises, even if those promises mutilated progressive ideas and stomped on the environment and gave piles of money to the wealthy, all while sucker-punching the poor and the working class and promising them nice shiny pennies and a big heap of false hope if they'd just shut the hell up.

Which is why, I presume, there are any number of adorable GOP sycophants out there right now campaigning to get the Gipper's mug on the national currency. There are even some who want his face on Rushmore, who think it's not enough that we named a huge airport and an aircraft carrier and probably some nice road somewhere after him. After all, Ronnie gave the conservative agenda its beautiful, historic sense of bitter entitlement.

As for the mourners, they weep not because Reagan was such a profound intellect, not because he was such a generous humanitarian, not because he balanced budgets or worked to end poverty or because he, as Clinton did, brokered peace in Northern Ireland and came closer than any president in history to finally ending conflict in the Middle East, and nearly winning the Nobel Peace Prize in the process.

No, they want Reagan canonized because he was a wildly successful, hugely manipulative media presence. Because he charmed them to death, because he shaped American politics like no other president in recent history. This is what people are remembering: essentially, a surreal and often sad and yet indelible hunk of American history, a time when America fell under a slick jingoistic spell and conservatism found its voice and became much of what it is today: you know, mean-spirited and hawkish and ideologically lopsided, corporate sponsored, homophobic and fiscally reckless and more oriented toward one overarching agenda: military might uber alles.

This, then, is what we have to thank Reagan for. A bruising, devious, glossy worldview, fiscal irresponsibility, the art of the slick media sound bite, humanitarianism treated like a disease to be eradicated.

And now, with his passing, it's only appropriate to try to show a little respect. After all, you have to give the man credit -- he did indeed do a great deal to alter the timbre and direction modern American politics. His legacy is convoluted and eternally debatable and yet absolutely, undeniably extraordinary. He is the GOP's icon of finger-wagging righteousness. He is their demigod o' slippery prefab swagger. His attitudes and policies have had a titanic effect on the shape of modern American conservatism.

Problem is, that shape looks increasingly, and frighteningly, like a giant, bloody baseball bat.

A Lasting Look at Reagan

SIMI VALLEY, Calif. -- Parking is now available at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library. Visitors are still placing flowers at the base of the hill and up at the library itself, but if you persevere, parking spaces open up -- one here and two there and, later in the day, a whole bunch. It's not yet as it once was and not yet what it will be again, but the frenzy has abated, and soon the warmth of sentiment will give way to the cold judgment of history. This is where Reagan is buried, but his place in history is still unknown.

Reagan's is the second presidential library I've visited this year. In the spring I drove up the Hudson Valley to Franklin D. Roosevelt's home at Hyde Park -- an odd coincidence since Reagan is now being likened to FDR. Reagan was as great a president, some are saying, and his likeness ought to replace Roosevelt's on the dime, the people's coin. A visit to their respective presidential libraries provides some perspective on this debate.

Much of the Reagan library is dedicated to the late president's acting career -- movie posters and costumes and publicity shots. That hardly disqualifies him as a great president, but it suggests that much of his popularity rests on his intrinsic appeal. He was a good-looking guy with a terrific smile and a winning personality. That was not all there was to Reagan, of course, but the rest does not bespeak historical greatness -- something else, something less.

Tour the FDR library and you will be reminded of all that Roosevelt accomplished -- the New Deal, above all. This, to me, is his claim to greatness. Any American president could have won World War II. The allies were bigger and stronger and more populous. Roosevelt was a terrific wartime president, but while any other man might not have done as well, the United States still would have emerged victorious.

The Great Depression was a different matter. Here FDR was the indispensable man. It wasn't that his alphabet soup of new government agencies -- WPA, CCC, etc. -- restored prosperity (World War II did that). It was that by creating those agencies, by putting people to work, by expanding welfare, by moderating the inherent cruelty of winner-take-all capitalism, he saved capitalism itself. FDR did that. Another president might not have.

The Reagan accomplishment, celebrated throughout his library, was the ending of the Cold War. Doubtful. Reagan may have accelerated the collapse of the Soviet empire, but it was crumbling anyway. I give Reagan his due. But he was not the indispensable man in this regard -- maybe Mikhail Gorbachev was -- and while another president might simply have treaded water and eschewed calling a spade a spade (the "evil empire"), the Soviet Union still would have collapsed sooner or later. With Reagan it was sooner.

I am not belittling Reagan's achievement. It was substantial. But it does not rise to the level of greatness. A great leader is indispensable. Without Washington, the colonies might not have won the Revolutionary War. Without Lincoln, the Union might not have been preserved. These men were indispensable to the history of their times -- and our own as well.

None of that sense of indispensability is evident in the Reagan library. Instead, what comes across is niceness, authenticity, immense communication skills, and strong ideological and personal values. Reagan did reverse the direction of government growth and he did lower taxes and he did break the air controllers' strike -- a historic accomplishment, you would think from the display here. During Reagan's terms the economy prospered and a slightly smaller share of it went to feed the government. That's not chopped liver, but it's not greatness either.

Oddly, the modern-day president who may satisfy the requirement of indispensability is the current one, George W. Bush. Simply stated, he made the war in Iraq happen. If Bush's vision of a transformed Middle East materializes, if terrorism is vanquished as a result, then he will have put his shoulder to history and swung it on its hinges. I don't think that will occur, but if it does, the Bush library will surely be worth a visit.

Standing before the Reagan library, I imagined the cars of average visitors pulling out -- and historians pulling in. As the historians have done with JFK, they will distinguish between popular and great, celebrated and indispensable -- and judge Reagan not partially by the mood of our times (anxious, uncertain) but totally, by his actual achievements. For now, let's leave Reagan to history. At the very least, I'm sure, it will treat him kindly.

Posted at 12:02 AM

June 17, 2004

I've been reading the collected Sandman comics for the past couple of weeks. Steve let me borrow them, and I've been trying to finish the last bits so that I can return them when I see him this weekend.

I have read an issue or two (or more like three or five) over the past decade or so, stumbling across a stand-alone issue here and there and loving the play of the stories that Neil Gaiman concocted. I've wanted to read all of it, both because I've liked what I'd seen but also because Sandman is such a celebrated, awarded series, far and away more than are imaginable for one American comic. I have not been disappointed either. The stories are fantastic, the characters feel very alive and interesting, and the presentation of the material, both visually and structurally, is very compelling and involving.

I'm almost done with the last vestiges of the collected set, and I've found it a great way to relax and take my mind off of other concerns. If you haven't ever read the Sandman, I would recommend taking a gander if you can. It's high-quality literature, and you won't be disappointed.

Posted at 12:52 AM

June 16, 2004

On a rare positive note I received a letter from the campus Financial Aid office telling me that they have read my appeal and have decided that they will reinstate my aid for next year, my last year as an undergraduate. This is certainly good news, although I won't believe anything, really, until I have the disbursement check cashed and filling my bank account. Even so, this news helps to make things seem a little less bleak.

Now if I could just have one other thing go right. Just one thing. Anything. Just one. Nothing big even, just one. Come on, just one little thing. Is that asking so much, really? Awww ....

Posted at 11:34 PM

June 15, 2004

It's strange, really, but my reactions to death are often completely unpredictable. Yes, the deaths of those who have been very close to me have devastated me, but I have been relatively unphased by the deaths of various relatives. Maybe that says more about my relationship with my family as compared to my closest friends and loves, but I think there's even more to it than that.

When I see on the news that someone has died, I often am somewhat unmoved. I am usually bothered by the needlessness of it all, and I am frustrated that the media tries to "sell" death for ratings, but the actual death, the actual individual, is often lost to me. Maybe I've become inured to the violence and death in the world around me - the abundance of such images makes it almost feel natural to see people dying horribly - but I just don't often form a connection that makes the death of someone I don't know upset me.

I am unpredictable in this, however, because at other times I will be horribly moved to great lengths by a death, moved to tears and bereft by the passing of someone I never even met. Today is such a day. Today I am terribly upset by the death of a little boy in Chicago that I never knew.

I had read about Donald Houser-Richerme on the 7th of this month in a news article about how this 6-year-old boy had saved a 5-year-old girl from drowning in a swimming pool but then went under himself after getting her to a ladder. He was unable to swim himself. It seemed to me the ultimate act of heroism and friendship, to risk his life in order to save his friend. I was, and still am, infuriated that some unknown number of adults allowed this boy to drown, waiting 20 minutes for emergency services to arrive and merely poking around the dark waters with a pole to try to find the boy. One would think that any adult would get into the pool themselves since they could probably swim and stand up in a nominally-filled swimming pool, but nobody did that. They just waited and let the paramedics pull out a comatose boy.

Now, just over a week later, that poor child has died, never waking from his coma. A beautiful child, a hero, the kind of person that this world needs, has passed from us at an all-too-early age, and I am unable to grasp the whole horrible situation.

Life is truly not fair, but this exceeds all bounds. Rest peacefully, sweet prince. We will remember you, Donny.

Boy, 6, nearly drowns after saving friend, 5

CHICAGO RIDGE, Ill. – Six-year-old Donnie Hauser-Richerme knew he couldn't swim, but he also knew the little girl in the murky, debris-filled swimming pool was in trouble.

Donnie jumped in and helped save 5-year-old Karah Moran's life before becoming stuck in five feet of blackened rain water and muck at the bottom of the deep end. Paramedics eventually rescued him, but he was in critical condition and on life support Thursday.

Karah called Donnie "my hero."

"I can't say enough about this little guy," said Chicago Ridge Police Chief Tim Baldermann. "It's amazing that this little kid, old enough to understand it's a dangerous situation, was so brave. Without thinking about himself he instinctively jumped in to help his friend."

The rescue happened Monday as Karah, Donnie, and his 4-year-old brother explored the apartment complex where their families live. Karah, who was visiting her grandmother at the complex, knew the location of an empty swimming pool on the grounds.

"She wanted to show the pool," said Karah's aunt, Bernadette Choate. "She didn't expect the gate to be unlocked."

A maintenance worker had been sent out to the pool that day to do some work, Baldermann said. Faced with a locked gate and no key, the worker cut the lock to get in. He wrapped a chain around the gate and left, but the children were able to remove the chain and get inside.

Karah either climbed or fell into the pool's shallow end, where there wasn't any water. But the bottom was slick with dead leaves and algae, causing her to slide down into the muck-covered deep end.

Donnie jumped into the shallow end and reached toward his friend to try to pull her to safety. But Karah weighs about 10 pounds more than Donnie, and between the weight and the slick surface, the boy slipped and both ended up in the water.

Karah's mother, Melany Moran, said her daughter told her that as the two were struggling in the water, Donnie helped her reach the ladder.

As somebody called 911, adults hurried to the pool area, but the water was so filthy, so filled with debris, that they couldn't see Donnie. Another maintenance man, Andre Mitchell, said he poked the water with a long aluminum pole used to clean pools but turned up nothing.

By the time the paramedics found Donnie, he had been under water anywhere from five to 20 minutes, Baldermann said.

He said prosecutors decided not to file charges against the owner of the complex after learning the maintenance man had cut the lock.

Melany Moran said she is worried about her daughter and plans on getting her into counseling "when this all dies down."

"Last night she had a nightmare," she said. "She was screaming, ‘Help me, help me.' "

Boy Dies After Rescuing Friend From Pool

CHICAGO RIDGE, Ill. (AP) - A 6-year-old boy who rescued a playmate from a debris-filled swimming pool but couldn't get himself out of the water has died.

Donald Houser-Richerme had been hospitalized in critical condition since June 7, when rescue crews found his limp body in a half-empty pool at an apartment complex.

He died Monday, Police Chief Tim Baldermann said.

Donny had been exploring the area with his younger brother and a 5-year-old friend, Karah Moran, when they found the gate to the pool area unlocked and went in.

Karah either jumped or fell into the empty, shallow end of the pool, then slid on debris into the water gathered at the deep end. Though Donald couldn't swim, he jumped in after her and was able to push her to a ladder, family members said. But he couldn't save himself, and authorities said he was under water as long as 20 minutes.

``That family has been through an awful lot this past week, and throughout the whole ordeal they've shown a lot of dignity, class and strength,'' Baldermann said.

Authorities said they would not file charges against the owner of the apartment complex after learning a maintenance man had cut the pool's lock.

Posted at 1:07 AM

June 14, 2004

That which the dream shows is the shadow of such wisdom as exists in man, even if during his waking state he may know nothing about it. ... We do not know it because we are fooling away our time with outward and perishing things, and are asleep in regard to that which is real within ourself.

- Paracelsus

Posted at 11:14 PM

June 13, 2004

Possibly the only dismaying aspect of excellence is that it makes living in a world of mediocrity an ongoing prospect of living hell. The subtle distressing perturbation.

Michelangelo wrote: "Trifles make perfection and perfection is no trifle." Hardly a sentiment for our times, for a world of assembly lines and buck-passing and litterbugs.

Perfection. Excellence. What a passionate lover. But once having tasted the lips of excellence, once having given oneself to its perfection, how dreary and burdensome and filled with anomie are the remainder of one's waking hours trapped in the shackled lock-step of the merely ordinary, the barely acceptable, the just okay and not a stroke better.

Sadly, most lives are fashioned on that pattern. Settling for what is possible; buying into the cliché because the towering dream is out of stock; learning how to avoid taking the risk of the dizzying leap. Miguel de Unamuno (1864-1936) wrote: "In order to attain the impossible one must attempt the absurd." So the paradigm becomes all the Salieri shadows unable to touch the Mozart reality, all the respectably-talented but not awesomely-endowed Antonios fulminating with frustration at the occasional Amadeus. Excellence in the untalented and ordinary produces pleasure and awe; but in the minimally-talented it produces hatred and envy that boils like sheep fat.

Excellence is its own master, owes no allegiance, bows its head to no regimen. It exists pure and whole like the silver face of the moon. Untouchable, unreachable, exquisite. But frustrating because it reminds us of how much mediocrity we put up with, just to get through the week.

- Harlan Ellison

Posted at 10:34 PM

June 12, 2004

Val wanted to go to this "Block Party" in downtown Sandusky, but Shaun (her husband) had to work tonight and Val didn't want to go just by herself with the two kids to look after. I agreed to go, even though I had some trepidation about the potential quality (or lack thereof) of the four bands who were slated to play near the pier.

I met up with Val at her house, which is a cute little place but in the process of all sorts of remodeling since it's a new house for her and her family. We gathered up things (and kids) and we both drove downtown.

As it turns out, tonight was the Ohio summer rally for Harley Davidson riders, and the meeting place was this block party - which was specifically for them, clearly. Vendors with Harley clothes or leather gear or bike accessories were mixed with lots of beer vendors and food vendors (and clearly adult/biker food - no funnel cakes or treats were to be seen. And of the course the bands, not to be forgotten, were biker-oriented as well, singing a variety of heavy metal tunes and telling the audience that "You assholes rock!" It was clearly a quality moment for the kids.

Amusingly enough, Val ran into all sorts of people she knew including a cousin, her bowling partners, and a number of people from her bowling league. I just sort of sat by quietly as they talked, not knowing any of these people, and I people-watched instead. Most of the people were drunk or on their way, one hand holding a beer and the other holding a huge barbequed turkey leg that looked like it was from a Henry VIII movie. The streets were overflowing with motorcycles as well, in parking spaces, up and down the center of the streets, and riding around and attempting to make more noise than the guy next to them. It was all very peaceful and mellow, though, which in a way was almost disappointing. In fact it was just about boring. The kids livened things up, of course, and they both made me laugh a good bit. And of course there was some eye candy here and there. I stared a little too long in a couple of cases and got angry glares back, but I didn't provoke any fights or anything. The rule here, though, is that Harley bikers by and large aren't gay. I'm sure that's an unfounded stereotype, but probably not for the ones that come to Sandusky, the center of world boredom.

I would never have gone to something like this on my own, and I can't say that I found any truly redeeming aspects in the event itself, but I did get out of the house, and Val clearly enjoyed herself. Hopefully something interesting will come to Sandusky ... but I'm not counting on it.

Posted Written at 12:29 AM

June 11, 2004

This report comes as no surprise, but it's good to know that there are plenty of others who recognize the situation and are as concerned as I am.

Poor Version of Democracy

"[T]he voices of American citizens are raised and heard unequally," declares a task force of the American Political Science Association. "The privileged participate more than others and are increasingly well organized to press their demands on government. Public officials, in turn, are much more responsive to the privileged than to average citizens and the least affluent."

Disparities in political participation, the report says, "ensure that ordinary Americans speak in a whisper while the most advantaged roar."

All citizens, especially politicians, should study the report of the association's Task Force on Inequality and American Democracy, which was released this week. The political scientists proclaim what many of us know instinctively: A government that ought to be helping ordinary citizens rise up tends to help those who are already up. But the report puts facts behind our instincts and shows how unfairness breeds more unfairness.

Since the early 1970s, the report says, we have seen "a massive mobilization into politics of advantaged groups that had not previously been active in Washington." With the decline in union membership, "the already privileged are better organized through occupational associations than the less privileged."

If the golden rule means that those who have the gold make the rules, that principle is alive and well in our campaigns. The task force, chaired by Lawrence Jacobs of the University of Minnesota, notes that while "[o]nly 12 percent of American households had incomes over $100,000 in 2000," 95 percent of the donors who made "substantial contributions" to political activity were in those wealthy households.

The Internet has been used this year to democratize the political money chase. But it is no cure-all. One of its effects, the report says, may be to "activate the active" and "widen the disparities between participants and the politically disengaged by making it easier for the already engaged to gain political information, to make political connections, and contribute money."

Wonder why it's so hard to pass universal health insurance or other programs to help the disadvantaged? "Americans who take part in politics are much less likely than many of their fellow citizens to have faced the need to work extra hours to get by," the report says. "The privileged are unlikely to have delayed medical treatment for economic reasons or cut back on spending for food or the education of children."

Even when the poor are spoken for, they are unlikely to do the speaking themselves. "The less advantaged are so absent from discussions in Washington," the report finds, "that government officials are likely to hear about their concerns, if at all, from more privileged advocates who try to speak for the disadvantaged."

And moderates, take note: "Americans who are very active in politics often have more intense or extreme views than average citizens who participate less or only sporadically."

The rise of the extremes combined with "the proliferation of interest groups speaking for very specialized constituencies" makes it "harder for government to work out broad compromises" and respond "to average citizens who have more ambiguous or middle-of-the-road opinions."

The report argues, rightly, that "[w]hat government does not do is just as important as what it does." In the not-so-distant past, government created programs to benefit broad groups of citizens -- Social Security, Medicare, the GI Bill, student loan programs and Pell Grant scholarships.

There have been few comparable innovations recently, and some of the traditional programs have been cut back. "The educational and training benefits for America's all-volunteer military are modest compared with those in the original G.I. Bill and, consequently, have made less impact in boosting the schooling of veterans to the level of non-veterans," the task force writes. So we praise and praise those who serve their country, but do little for them.

"Moreover," the task force says, "rising tuition, the declining value of individual Pell Grants, and state budget cuts have made higher education less affordable to non-veterans at a time when its economic value has risen and its contribution to counteracting the bias in political participation is invaluable." The political system reinforces the inequalities of political participation by cutting off the less privileged from the tools that encourage participation.

The report concludes with a call for "a vigorous campaign to expand participation and make our government responsive to the many, rather than just the privileged few."

"A government for the many, not the few" is a good political slogan. It's also the democratic ideal and an excellent idea.

Posted at 10:55 PM

June 10, 2004

"The Genius," the Great One, the legendary Ray Charles has now left the building.Rest in peace, and thanks for everything, Mr. Charles. You gave us so much - so very, very much.

Ray Charles Dies at 73

BEVERLY HILLS, California (AP) -- Ray Charles, the Grammy-winning crooner who blended gospel and blues in such crowd-pleasers as "What'd I Say" and ballads like "Georgia on My Mind," died Thursday, a spokesman said. He was 73.

Charles died at his Beverly Hills home surrounded by family and friends, said spokesman Jerry Digney.

Charles' last public appearance was alongside Clint Eastwood on April 30, when the city of Los Angeles designated the singer's studios, built 40 years ago in central Los Angeles, as a historic landmark.

Blind by age 7 and an orphan at 15, Charles spent his life shattering any notion of musical boundaries and defying easy definition. A gifted pianist and saxophonist, he dabbled in country, jazz, big band and blues, and put his stamp on it all with a deep, warm voice roughened by heartbreak from a hardscrabble childhood in the segregated South.

"His sound was stunning -- it was the blues, it was R&B, it was gospel, it was swing -- it was all the stuff I was listening to before that but rolled into one amazing, soulful thing," singer Van Morrison told Rolling Stone magazine in April.

Charles won nine of his 12 Grammy Awards between 1960 and 1966, including the best R&B recording three consecutive years ("Hit the Road Jack," "I Can't Stop Loving You" and "Busted").

His versions of other songs are also well known, including "Makin' Whoopee" and a stirring "America the Beautiful." Hoagy Carmichael and Stuart Gorrell wrote "Georgia on My Mind" in 1931 but it didn't become Georgia's official state song until 1979, long after Charles turned it into an American standard.

"I was born with music inside me. That's the only explanation I know of," Charles said in his 1978 autobiography, "Brother Ray." "Music was one of my parts ... Like my blood. It was a force already with me when I arrived on the scene. It was a necessity for me, like food or water."

Charles considered Martin Luther King Jr. a friend and once refused to play to segregated audiences in South Africa. But politics didn't take.

He was happiest playing music, smiling and swaying behind the piano as his legs waved in rhythmic joy. His appeal spanned generations: He teamed with such disparate musicians as Willie Nelson, Chaka Khan and Eric Clapton, and appeared in movies including "The Blues Brothers." Pepsi tapped him for TV spots around a simple "uh huh" theme, perhaps playing off the grunts and moans that pepper his songs.

"The way I see it, we're actors, but musical ones," he once told The Associated Press. "We're doing it with notes, and lyrics with notes, telling a story. I can take an audience and get 'em into a frenzy so they'll almost riot, and yet I can sit there so you can almost hear a pin drop."

Charles was no angel. He could be mercurial and his womanizing was legendary. He also struggled with a heroin addiction for nearly 20 years before quitting cold turkey in 1965 after an arrest at the Boston airport. Yet there was a sense of humor about even that -- he released both "I Don't Need No Doctor" and "Let's Go Get Stoned" in 1966.

He later became reluctant to talk about the drug use, fearing it would taint how people thought of his work.

"I've known times where I've felt terrible, but once I get to the stage and the band starts with the music, I don't know why but it's like you have pain and take an aspirin, and you don't feel it no more," he once said.

Ray Charles Robinson was born September 23, 1930, in Albany, Georgia. His father, Bailey Robinson, was a mechanic and a handyman, and his mother, Aretha, stacked boards in a sawmill. His family moved to Gainesville, Florida, when Charles was an infant.

"Talk about poor," Charles once said. "We were on the bottom of the ladder."

Charles saw his brother drown in the tub his mother used to do laundry when he was about 5 as the family struggled through poverty at the height of the Depression. His sight was gone two years later. Glaucoma is often mentioned as a cause, though Charles said nothing was ever diagnosed. He said his mother never let him wallow in pity.

" I was born with music inside me. That's the only explanation I know of. ... Music was one of my parts ... Like my blood. It was a force already with me when I arrived on the scene. It was a necessity for me -- like food or water. ... Music is nothing separate from me. It is me. ... You'd have to remove the music surgically."

" When the doctors told her that I was gradually losing my sight, and that I wasn't going to get any better, she started helping me deal with it by showing me how to get around, how to find things," he said in the autobiography. "That made it a little bit easier to deal with."

Charles began dabbling in music at 3, encouraged by a cafe owner who played the piano. The knowledge was basic, but he was that much more prepared for music classes when he was sent away, heartbroken, to the state-supported St. Augustine School for the Deaf and the Blind.

Charles learned to read and write music in Braille, score for big bands and play instruments -- lots of them, including trumpet, clarinet, organ, alto sax and the piano.

"Learning to read music in Braille and play by ear helped me develop a damn good memory," Charles said. "I can sit at my desk and write a whole arrangement in my head and never touch the piano. .. There's no reason for it to come out any different than the way it sounds in my head."

His early influences were myriad: Chopin and Sibelius, country and western stars he heard on the Grand Ole Opry, the powerhouse big bands of Duke Ellington and Count Basie, jazz greats Art Tatum and Artie Shaw.

By the time he was 15 his parents were dead and Charles had graduated from St. Augustine. He wound up playing gigs in black dance halls -- the so-called chitlin' circuit -- and exposed himself to a variety of music, including hillbilly (he learned to yodel) before moving to Seattle.

He dropped his last name in deference to boxer Sugar Ray Robinson, patterned himself for a time after Nat "King" Cole and formed a group that backed rhythm 'n' blues singer Ruth Brown. It was in Seattle's red light district were he met a young Quincy Jones, showing the future producer and composer how to write music. It was the beginning of a lifelong friendship.

Charles developed quickly in those early days. Atlantic Records purchased his contract from Swingtime Records in 1952, and two years later he recorded "I Got a Woman," a raw mixture of gospel and rhythm 'n' blues, inventing what was later called soul. Soon, he was being called "The Genius" and was playing at Carnegie Hall and the Newport Jazz Festival.

His first big hit was 1959's "What'd I Say," a song built off a simple piano riff with suggestive moaning from the Raeletts. Some U.S. radio stations banned the song, but Charles was on his way to stardom.

Veteran producer Jerry Wexler, who recorded "What'd I Say," said he has worked with only three geniuses in the music business: Bob Dylan, Aretha Franklin and Charles.

"In each case they brought something new to the table," Wexler told the San Jose Mercury News in 1994. Charles "had this blasphemous idea of taking gospel songs and putting the devil's words to them. ... He can take a gem from Tin Pan Alley or cut to the country, but he brings the same root to it, which is black American music."

Charles released "Modern Sounds in Country and Western Music, Volumes 1 and 2" in the early '60s, a big switch from his gospel work. It included "Born to Lose," "Take These Chains From My Heart (And Set Me Free)" and "I Can't Stop Loving You," some of the biggest hits of his career.

He made it a point to explore each medium he took on. Country sides were sometimes pop-oriented, while fiddle, mandolin, banjo and steel guitar were added to "Wish You Were Here Tonight" in the '80s. Jones even wrote a choral and orchestral work for Charles to perform with the Roanoke, Virginia, symphony.

Charles' last Grammy came in 1993 for "A Song for You," but he never dropped out of the music scene. He continued to tour and long treasured time for chess. He once told the Los Angeles Times: "I'm not Spassky, but I'll make it interesting for you."

" Music's been around a long time, and there's going to be music long after Ray Charles is dead," he told the Washington Post in 1983. "I just want to make my mark, leave something musically good behind. If it's a big record, that's the frosting on the cake, but music's the main meal."

Posted at 10:50 PM

June 9, 2004

So Steve called today and told me that his employer will be "outsourcing" him on July 2nd. They were kind enough to call him yesterday, his birthday, while he was on vacation for the week. While Steve isn't fully clear on what this exactly means, it appears that he will be essentially sold ... I mean transferred ... to a different company entirely, and that company will be an outside vendor for the services Steve used to perform directly for his original company. The big problem with that for Steve is that he loses his seniority and with it his accrued benefits. He may well also end up have lowered benefits and/or lowered pay. There's just no certainty for him at all. The worst thing, as I see it, is that Steve has no choice and no recourse in this matter. He just does what the company tells him or he gets fired, and as wrong as that truly is, he doesn't have any legal defense against such actions.

I have said for many years that unions are underrated and of critical importance in America (and the world), and this sort of treatment of a valued employee is a prime example. If Steve were part of a union then this sort of thing would never happen. He would have the support and backing of all of the workers at his place of work, and they would collectively stand for the rights of each employee. Instead, with no union, Steve is on his own and forced to tow the company line or be unemployed, and neither option is preferable or fair. It just pisses me off that we are in the 21st century and we still have draconian labor practices not only in practice but without any defense legally. It is simply untenable.

Is it any wonder why I hate not only the employment practices of major corporations but employment in general?

Posted Written at 11:58 PM

June 8, 2004

I wish I were surprised by people more often than I am. Maybe it's my realist/cynical (borderline pessimist) attitude, but I find myself going into just about any conversation with expectations of how people will act or react based on what I've seen of them in my past experiences. I chide myself quite often because I expect a certain response or behavior from them regarding what they want or need from me or how they respond to my thoughts, and usually the response or behavior I expect is sure to be disappointing. As unrealistic as this may seem to be, I still find myself inevitably having made the right assumptions about how they will behave, and I am disappointed that I am indeed right.

I would much rather have people surprise me and do what is unexpected, particularly when the unexpected thing (at least for me) would be the right thing to do - the unselfish choice, the honest choice, the understanding choice, the compassionate choice, the helpful choice. But that's rarely the case. Maybe I'm too much of an idealist - a dreamer - but I honestly want people to make the right choice, even when it is the last thing I expect of them. It brings me down, though, to be right about people so regularly. I think I'd be better off never having any idea how people will behave.

Posted at 2:32 AM

June 7, 2004

My grandmother is driving me batty. Or maybe she's going batty. The bottom line is that there's another bat in the house. I haven't gotten this one out yet because I'm not really sure where it is. It hides very well. I think I've isolated it down to two possible areas - the basement or the guest bedroom - but I'm not sure (and the basement is quite big, so that may not help either).

Anyhow, I should be able to figure out where it is by tomorrow night and hopefully guide it out of the house. Of course that will still leave one problem:

How are bats getting into the house when they never have before?

I tell you, there's just never a dull moment around here.

Posted at 1:40 AM

June 6, 2004

I feel like a zombie, but I just don't have any cravings for brains ...

Posted at 12:04 AM

June 5, 2004

I remember how we used to gather nuts from the forest in the old country. Nuts you could store for winter, just like the squirrels, and eat all winter when times was lean. After the frost the gardens , they were empty, and you had to live off what you'd stored away. We would trudge through the snow in the forest and hunt for squirrels and rabbits, and we would cut holes in the ice now and again, but meat was tough to come by and those nuts were the closest to meat you got.

Ah ... I used to love chestnuts roasted just 'til the shell snapped open. The meat inside would just about melt in your mouth then, and the flavor was better than anything else. I remember burnin' my hands as a boy 'cause I was too impatient to wait for 'em to cool. Ha! I prob'ly did that at least once a year 'til my pa caught me doin' it and punished me for bein' so stupid. Ha! Kids - sure can be thick-headed, that's for sure!

Posted at 2:46 AM

June 4, 2004

That damn depression is taking hold again no matter how much I don't want it. I'm getting more depressed, more lonely, more lethargic, and more hopeless even though I don't want to be like this. It's frustrating and upsetting, and I hate getting like this.

Worse still (or maybe it's to be expected as a result of my feeling so depressed) I saw a number of really cute guys around town in the various places I was driving and shopping today, and I just felt (like always) that I could never get close to someone like that no matter how much I want to or need to (or even perhaps deserve to). It's frustrating and upsetting, and I shouldn't even go out or even watch TV on days that I feel like this, but the damage is done, and I feel lonelier than ever.

I guess I'm just a whiny bitch, really, but days when I feel like this are just truly the worst days of my life. When is the loneliness going to end anyhow?

Posted at 1:14 AM

June 3, 2004

The "bird" that my grandmother has seen fly through the house once or twice each of the last three evenings turned out to be (as I had suspected) a bat. I was very careful not to mention the possibility of the "bird" being a bat to my grandmother because I knew it would freak her out. As it was, even after I managed to get the bat outside tonight, my grandmother was still very anxious and bothered by the fact that it was a bat. She'll get over it now, knowing that the bat is out of the house, but she'll continue - I know - to ask me regularly whether there's any chance another bat will find it's way into the house.

It's funny, really, because my grandmother has lived in this house for about sixty years and this is her first bat in the house. Even so, she will now be almost certain that she faces a constant threat of bat invasion - that's just the way she is about worrying easily. Hopefully I'll be able to keep her settled and she'll forget about this, but I rather doubt it.

The good news, of course, is that the bat is out of the house, and even better is the fact that my grandmother's cold seems to be breaking up, and I expect her to be fully recovered by the weekend. That will be two problems out of the way at least.

Posted at 12:21 AM

June 2, 2004

Ever since the gay marriage debate first surfaced and conservatives/Republicans have blamed so-called "activist judges" for pushing equalities that aren't approved by the majority of the public, I've wondered what sort of percentages of people had approved of inter-racial marriage when the Supreme Court took a stand for equality in the sixties. Thanks to Andrew Sullivan I have the figures, and it's even more surprising than I would have expected.

JUDICIAL TYRANTS: Yes, those figures in black robes once violated basic principles of self-government and forced vile and disgusting marriages on unwilling majorities. No one had a say - except nine dictators in the Supreme Court. And the public was overwhelmingly opposed, according to Gallup:

In 1968, only 20% of Americans approved of marriage between "whites and nonwhites." By 1983, 43% said they approved of marriage between blacks and whites, and in the most recent survey conducted for AARP, 73% of Americans expressed approval toward black-white marriages. This percentage is up significantly since Gallup last asked the question in June 2002.

While a majority of black adults have consistently approved of marriage between whites and nonwhites since Gallup began asking this question of blacks in 1968, only 17% of whites approved in 1968. It wasn't until 1997 that a majority of whites expressed approval toward black-white marriages. According to the latest survey, 70% of whites and 80% of blacks approve of marriage between whites and blacks.

Younger Americans are more likely than older Americans to approve of marriage between blacks and whites (approval ranges from 85% among the 18- to 29-year-olds to just 47% among those 65 and older).

It wasn't until 1997 that a majority of whites approved of inter-racial marriages! The public approval of marriage rights for gays today is close to double the approval of inter-racial marriage in 1967. Judicial tyranny was worse then, wasn't it?

Posted at 10:08 PM

June 1, 2004

There's never a dull moment here, let me tell you. My grandma has come down with some sort of mild cold, leaving her with a runny nose and scratchy throat. That in itself wouldn't be a big deal - more of just an annoyance for her (and therefore for me) - but there also seems to be a bird in the house. So far only my grandmother has seen it, but I don't think it's her imagination. Strangely, though, it flies one or two circuits through the rooms of the first floor and then just disappears. I've searched at night and during the day, and there's just no sign of the darn thing, and then it shows up again the following day and disappears again. This is the third day of the bird and the second of my grandma's cold (and the third straight day of rain), and while I sympathize with my grandma about all of this, I'm just not able to do all that much to help.

Sure, I've made chicken noodle soup and made sure she eats well and drinks a lot of fluids and uses a warm compress on her face to open her sinuses and that she gets plenty of sleep, and I've searched and searched time and again for the bird, but I'm not making any real impact on either situation. The cold will pass, hopefully soon, and I can only hope that I'll figure out how to isolate the bird and get it out of the house (although I still don't understand how it just completely disappears like it does).

Just more fun stuff to deal with of course (like I don't have enough to do as it is). But that's how it goes - never a dull moment.

Posted at 11:12 PM

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