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April 2014

 

bullet April 30, 2014

... <sigh> ...

Posted at 7:09 AM
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bullet April 29, 2014

Hey, Paul, put together a training and procedures manual for everything that happens in the office ... but oh, yeah, ... the server is completely down so you don't have access to a single policy statement, manual, procedure, or form. Good to go?

Posted at 7:37 AM
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bullet April 28, 2014

These 12-hour-day, 7-day-work-weeks need to come to an end. I'm a mess of volatile emotions and have no way to use any of my coping mechanisms because I have no personal time. I need my down time - very much.

Posted at 7:37 AM
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bullet April 27, 2014

... and then there was that time Ron fired half the staff on the spot ...

Posted at 7:22 AM
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bullet April 26, 2014

Yes ... blood everywhere ... always fun ...

Posted at 7:20 AM
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bullet April 25, 2014

Still in the 7-day, 12-hour per day, fucked up schedule. Now in week SEVEN of not being paid (after a previous six-week wait). One funeral attended yesterday for one of my work-mates and another coming soon, probably next week, for my boss's mother-in-law. Lack of sleep and over-exertion have left me aching and at times crabby, neither of which lift my spirits. I have no time to read or watch movies - heck, I only get to watch TV while doing at least two other things and missing most of what's actually going on. I still have no idea if my job is going to last even into next week, let alone how long. I have banking, shopping, massive amounts of cleaning, and other things that I can't do because I have no time. I'm madly behind in responding to e.mails. My mail is a fucked up mess of bullshit wrong-delivery, non-delivery, and damaged-delivery. My Internet service works like shit a far-too-large portion of the time. I have no recreational activities. My car is filthy inside and out and my passenger window won't roll down and my trunk lid won't seat right and I have no time to get any of that attended to. I have eaten mac-n-cheese-and tuna casserole six days a week for lunch every day for the past four months and I now hate something I've loved. I dread leaving my apartment every day as I'm sure it will be burglarized. I hate living and have no easy way out.

Hell would be a great improvement over my life.

Posted at 7:25 AM
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bullet April 24, 2014

It would appear that everybody gets to die but me.

Posted at 6:59 AM
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bullet April 23, 2014

Not feeling as tired as I'd expected but much more achy. This is almost better ... although I can think of better ways to feel.

Posted at 7:21 AM
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bullet April 22, 2014

... AND ... even more sleeplessness. Joy. ...

Posted at 7:58 AM
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bullet April 21, 2014

Nothing like more depression to make you more depressed ...

Posted at 7:18 AM
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bullet April 20, 2014

Easter Sunday. Yea. Rah. Woop-de-do.

I get to do laundry and clean and make lunch for next week and repair things and all sorts of stupid stuff I haven't had time to do. Fun or relaxing stuff? Not so much ...

Posted at 7:27 AM
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bullet April 19, 2014

This has truly been a horrible, miserable past five months.

Another death, a new serious illness, and a serious legal matter, are the worst of the things to have happened today, but there is more - all in less than twenty-four hours. That's life, as they say ... and that's why life is miserable and horrible and just simply not worth it. There is no point in this constant misery.

Posted at 7:47 AM
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bullet April 18, 2014

Tired. Again.

I helped Steve out last night with car trouble and ended up getting to sleep later than usual. That led to getting up later than usual this morning and still being tired, and I need to rush to get ready so I can pick Steve up and take us both to work. I'll be his ride to and from work for a while it looks like, and I'm glad to help - I just need to figure out how to get enough sleep while we're still on the extended hours.

Sleep ... oh how I miss you ...

Posted at 7:45 AM
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bullet April 17, 2014

Yesterday was busy and tiring. Even without the craziness of the past few days or even as many phone calls as usual or any appointments, we still had tons of work to do to get the final customer packets together and finished and the customers called to pick them up. This part of the process is woefully behind, and we will be pushing to get everything done by the end of the week - and with tomorrow being Friday that's not that far away.

Whee.

Posted at 6:51 AM
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bullet April 16, 2014

Tax season is now over. Now we can do more taxes.

Posted at 7:02 AM
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bullet April 15, 2014

Well, if today is anything like yesterday then I should finally have the courage to kill myself. Ah, professional tax preparation - proving that the only things that are inevitable are indeed death and taxes.

Posted at 7:47 AM
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bullet April 14, 2014

The past couple days have been sweltering. It's only reached a high of sixty-two degrees the past two days, but the expected rains have instead simply resulted in such massive humidity that it feels oppressively hot and sticky. I've never experienced humidity like this in Spring - late Summer, yes, but never in Spring in Ohio.

And just to keep us on our toes, it is supposed to snow tomorrow morning.

Posted at 7:46 AM
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bullet April 13, 2014

I slept in later than usual and I'm still tired. Maybe in a couple of weeks when I'm not still working 12-hour days seven days a week I'll be able to really, truly sleep in - oversleep even (Squee!!), but not for a while yet, sadly. As much as I want free time away from work to read, watch TV or movies, go for walks in the park now that Spring is here, or even just domestic things that I haven't done in months like dusting and vacuuming ... above all those things I really want and need sleep. I feel so out of balance and weary ...

Posted at 8:32 AM
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bullet April 12, 2014

Seriously? Go in early on Sunday, the one non-12-hour-day of the week, just so people who waited until the last minute to file their taxes can try to make it your fault that they didn't withhold enough money to cover their taxes? Forget it. File an extension and I'll gladly do your taxes next week,. If you wanted it done before the deadline you should have come earlier or made an appointment before we were completely booked up.

Posted at 7:20 AM
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bullet April 11, 2014

I have no time to do anything but work and, to some extent, sleep. The few extra minutes left over are spent cleaning up, going to the bathroom, or fixing food - sometimes even trying to catch the news on TV or online as I try to do one or two other things as I get ready for work or get ready for bed. What is the point in this? Why do all of this at all? I make money working constantly so I can pay for an apartment I never see and hate and for which I must work constantly to pay for. The circular nature of this is absolutely purposeless. Nothing else comes from any of it. USE . LESS .

Posted at 7:02 AM
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bullet April 10, 2014

It's amazing that I can have this poor of antenna TV reception with a powered antenna and being in reasonable range of the the major network stations. I can mostly count on ABC, CBS, and PBS, but NBC is a dicey things, and the CW never comes through, let alone any Detroit stations or the Bowling Green PBS. I had much better reception when I lived in the Arts Center, and this is just one more thing that sucks about this apartment and this life.

Wheeeee!! WHEN CAN I GET OFF.

Posted at 6:42 AM
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bullet April 9, 2014

Good grief! Are all of these people going to have all of these crazy-assed problems and huge amounts of money due to the IRS and the state as we o taxes for the last week before the deadline? This is soul-sucking (as if life itself weren't enough of a drain).

Posted at 7:14 AM
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bullet April 8, 2014

One week and counting.

The worst of the worst tax returns are coming in one after the other, and it's truly frightening.

How much worse will it get before the end?

Posted at 7:39 AM
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bullet April 7, 2014

I have become incensed that some of the people I work with are still employed.

Come in late? Sure Leave early? Sure. Leave without telling anyone? Sure. Leave when customers are waiting? Sure. Sell cars during the same time you're working as a tax preparer? Sure. Chew your chewing tobacco while serving customers? Sure.

Why do I even try to do a good job when I could do less than nothing and still earn a paycheck?

Having been a manager myself, a supervisor responsible for hiring, disciplining, and firing employees, this is all simply unbelievable ... and yet here I am. The tax season ends in just over a week, and while my boss has said he wants everyone to stay at full extended tax-season hours seven days a week until Monday the 21st (except for Easter, the 20th), but what happens after that is anybody's guess. It's a sure thing that we won't all be employed after that point, but whether a few or even none of us will remain employed afterward for any amount of time is unknown, and realistically it will be none or close to it as last year Ron kept only my friend Steve as the office manager and one single tax preparer to only work about fifteen hours a week (which would be better than nothing surely, but would not cover my cost of living expenses.

There is a lot of stress around me every day and I'm hoping the end of the tax season will alleviate some of that, but getting closer and closer to a completely unknown situation and with the likelihood of being unemployed and struggling to find work with no earlier chance to do so is not the way to finding inner peace.

Life continues to suck. More at eleven.

Posted at 7:59 AM
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bullet April 6, 2014

I don't need this abuse, this frustration, this anxiety, or this depression. It never ends and only gets worse, and there's no escape. This is simply Hell. What could death possibly have for me that's worth? Nothing, that's what. Bring me the speedy peace of a final repose.

Posted at 6:31 AM
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bullet April 5, 2014

I'm tired, so very tired. Life is wearying, moreso for me than it seems to be for other people - more than it was for me at one time , too, I guess.

I'm just so very tired ... tired of it all.

Posted at 7:18 AM
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bullet April 4, 2014

... and of course the apartment manager denies doing anything with the package yesterday, but if he didn't put that package in my apartment then that raises all sorts of questions ... sooooo ... I bought a security system for my apartment. It's a waste of money I can't afford to spend, a waste of time that I don't have to install it, and only minimally reduces my anxiety.

Just more shit brought courtesy of LIFE, the slow-killer.

Posted at 7:57 AM
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bullet April 3, 2014

So I get back to the apartment last night and find the door not exactly as I left it (I notice little details about things, it's part of the OCD). That alone isn't a definitive worry that someone's broken into my apartment, but it alerts and alarms me. The door was still locked, so I'm put slightly at ease, but once I open the door I immediately see a small package a few feet inside.

The package is a parcel from the post office with a book I ordered, but it is not the practice of the post office to enter private premises to deliver packages and this package was too thick to slide under the door. That leaves the apartment complex manager.

Usually packages at this apartment complex are left at the central office with the apartment manager, be that by UPS, FedEx, or the postman. It's certainly preferable to having it left at my door where anybody could grab it and disappear. I have picked up packages from the apartment manager in the past with no problem, and I have even picked up a package from the new apartment manager who has only been here for a short while. He is the only person, however, who would have received the package and have a key to my apartment. The big question, however, is why he would think it was okay to enter my apartment without my permission for any reason but an emergency - and without contacting me at all.

Now I not only have to worry about someone breaking into my apartment, but I have to worry also about entry by the people who are supposed to assure my security and privacy. Just more to love about this hell hole.

Posted at 7:29 AM
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bullet April 2, 2014

Pickles.

Posted at 7:37 AM
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bullet April 1, 2014

April Fools!

Ha! Ha!

... well, Life is the joke ... it's just that most of you don't realize the joke's on you.

Posted at 7:30 AM

 


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Journal, by Paul Cales, © April 2014