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| message board April 2004
Yesterday pretty much sucked. I was feeling down for most of the day; I kept seeing really cute guys all day and kept realizing how alone I am; and I hadn't had much sleep so I was practically falling asleep on my drive to Bowling Green and during classes as well. All of that wouldn't have been a big thing, really, because lately I've been able to take that kind of depression and get over it after a good night's rest. Unfortunately my depression got worse at the end of the day. Laura and I were supposed to get together again at Big Boy to talk for a while. I'd been looking forward to it, in fact, because I haven't had a lot of human interaction with anyone other than my grandma all semester. I had my doubts, though, that we'd get together. Laura had come up with one excuse after another for the last five weeks. I would call her Thursday afternoons to see if we were still set to meet, and she would say what she was busy with and push things off 'til the following week. I was okay with that week after week - I have been busy myself, and I'm sure Laura's grad classes have been keeping her incredibly busy. This week, though, I decided not to call. I was fairly depressed, and I expected Laura to bail on me again, and I wanted her to call me. She had called me before when I had left her a message about getting together, so I knew she had the number. It was just a matter of whether she had any interest in calling. Apparently she didn't. She didn't call during the afternoon, and she didn't even call in the evening, even after it was well past when we would normally have met. I don't really feel surprised, either - just disappointed. I guess I've expected more out of Laura than I should have, and I should just let it go. On the drive back to Sandusky, I called Christiana, hoping that hearing a friendly voice would give me a boost, but she didn't answer. This is finals week for her, so I'm sure she's incredibly busy, and I'm not upset or disappointed in her. I wish I had talked to her, though; maybe I wouldn't still feel depressed today. I'll get over it, I'm sure, but it sucks to realize you don't hold a very high level of importance to someone you thought of as a good friend. Even the few times Laura and I did get together, she wouldn't hang out for more than two hours, and we only even met three times this whole semester. Meanwhile I know that Laura drove to Pittsburgh to visit Heather for a whole weekend during the semester, and that was with only a few days notice from a phone call where Heather invited her to come. I'm not jealous of her seeing Heather - I think it's great that they're keeping in touch - but the comparison makes it clear to me that Laura's not that interested in spending time with me. Like I said, it's not surprising, but it's disappointing. And life goes on ... Posted at 3:12 AM
Today was the last day of classes for the semester. I should be really happy about that, but I've been depressed pretty much all day. I have no idea why this comes as surprise, but it does. Life sucks. Posted at 11:15 PM
Apple released a new version of iTunes today, iTunes being their MP3/music player software that updates my iPod and lets me connect automatically to the iTunes Music Store if I want to buy songs online. The new version is cool due to a lot of new features, but the coolest is an updated encoding routine for the high-quality AAC recording format. The new encoding routine makes files even smaller than before, meaning that my iPod can hold even more songs. This is fantastic because I have just been getting ready (but not having the time to start) to digitize more of my CD collection so that I have more choices from my iPod when I'm driving to classes. I have a 30 GB iPod that's just over 2/3 full, and I only have about 1/3 of my CD collection in there. I was planning to at least fill the last third of my iPod with select choices from my music library, leaving a lot still unavailable. Now, however, I should be able to record even more - and maybe even at a better level of sound quality, if Apple's new promos are to be believed (although, honestly, my sound quality is great for just about everything I listen to so far, even considering how picky I can be). I still have to find time to do all of this, of course, but with tomorrow being the last day of classes and next week signaling the end of the semester, I should be able to spend some time on this soon, even as I work on other projects that need to be done around the house. Posted at 1:47 AM
As if rain wasn't bad enough, it hailed today - twice! - for a long time! I sort of expect one last snow or blustery sleety day in the last week of April, really I do, but it's weird after having days in the sixties and seventies. On the plus side, I finally got word that my Incomplete for my Thesis was finally corrected and I got an 'A'. Works for me. One Thesis down, one to go. On a completely unrelated note, have you ever wondered what it means when someone is "right as rain"? What, exactly, is right about rain anyhow? Posted at 10:01 PM
Fuckin' rain showed up yesterday and screwed my plan to mow the lawn, but I beat the fuckin' rain today - all trimmed, mowed, seeded, and fertilized before the storms came in, baby. In your face, rain! Posted at 12:07 AM
Oh goodie - the people in my state hate "my kind" by a ratio of three to one. No surprise, really, but still a huge disappointment all around.
Posted at 10:51 PM
Pain! I'm mostly sore, but I'm in pain when I lay still for too long. Great fun. Right. It comes as no big surprise - I was doing yardwork for nine hours straight today, raking old leaves, cleaning flowerbeds, raking the lawn of bits of this and that, edging, trimming, uncovering the air conditioners, putting out the hoses and planters, putting the snow blower up in the attic of the garage, and spraying around the foundation of the house with insecticides. I had hoped to mow the lawn, seed areas that are a little sparse in the lawn, and fertilize the lawn, but the sun simply wouldn't cooperate, and I had to give up when I didn't have enough light left to see anything anymore. Sadly all of that means I'll have to be back out there tomorrow to finish things up, but what's left will go much faster and easier. The problem will be, of course, that I'll ache all over and be stiff as a board, but that's just something I'll have to deal with. I'm already achy and tight, so I don't even want to think about how bad I'll feel in the morning. Considering how out of shape I am, I suppose I could be doing a lot worse. That's little consolation, however. Ah well, I'm going to lie down and watch Tv. That's about all I can stand right now. Pretty sad, isn't it. Take heed - this is what happens when you start to get old. Posted at 11:02 PM
Today has been a long, long, long, busy day of errands and shopping. I'm whipped, and even though I got a lot of stuff done for my grandma today, I'm not really enjoying it a whole lot. Heck, I didn't even get a chance to eat dinner until 9:30 PM - we didn't even get back until almost 9 PM. So after eating and putting things away and balancing my grandma's checkbook, I'm quite tired. Blah. This just wasn't fun. Posted at 11:31 PM
Tonight was the first of three BFA Senior Readings of poetry and fiction. Usually we hear MFAs and published guest speakers, but each graduating senior is required to read some of their poetry and/or fiction as a requirement of graduation, and today was the first set of those for this semester. The people who read a re a good group, a number of whom I've been really chatty and friendly with over the past few semesters, including Sara, Rob, and Josh. The other readings were Chelsea, Liz and Lina, all of whom I know and have had classes with. We've talked some over the past few years, but we haven't gotten spoken as much or spent as much time together as I have with the other three. All in all the reading was good (although exceptionally long at about two full hours). I was a little disappointed because I expected a bit more from most of these people, having read so much of their work before, but I did like what I heard, and it was definitely one of the best readings of the semester (although Virgil Suarez, the visiting poet, was by far the best reading I have attended this semester or any semester for that matter). I talked to a number of people before and after the reading and at intermission, and I had a good time. One of the hot topics of conversation was my hair, which I finally cut today after having wanted to lop it off for weeks. I had let it go a bit during Fall semester, and it was long when I had lunch with Lee in Toledo. Well, Lee thought it was "cute" when it was long, and she told Christiana when she next spoke with her. Christiana then insisted that she had to see my hair long (which is rare), and made me promise not to cut it until she saw me. I was true to my word, but I didn't see Christiana until a couple of weeks ago, so my hair has just gotten longer and longer. Some aspects of it I liked, but for the most part it was just a hassle, and my hair just isn't the kind that works long - it's very light-weight and blows wildly in all directions in a breeze, it has just the slightest bit of curl so that its wavy and the ends curl up rather than hang straight, and it gets frizzy as hell if there's any humidity in the air. So today I had about five inches lopped off all around, and I'm back to a Caesar cut, something which is much lighter, simpler, and easier to keep looking decent and in place. So anyhow - that long-winded background is just to explain why my hair was a topic of conversation. Many people who've had classes with me this semester had no idea that I didn't always have my hair long, so it was a big surprise. That's me, I guess - full of surprises. After the reading I was supposed to get together with Laura at Big Boy. We've been planning to see each other for a while, having not gotten together for a month, and each week we have had to postpone meeting because other things (mostly school projects) have come up and don't allow us the time to meet on a Thursday night. I called Laura during the afternoon, and she had to work with a group on a project tonight that they were running behind on. We talked for a little while to see if there was a better time to meet, but we eventually decided we'd just try to make sure we had time next week, and we'd check with each other Thursday afternoon and see if we could finally meet. I hope we can since next week is the last actual week of classes, but if we don't I'm sure I'll see Laura over the summer. It's certainly been strange how we've been so unable to catch up with each other these past few weeks. As it turns out, it may almost have been fortuitous that Laura's and my schedules didn't sync up once again. During the intermission for the BFA Reading, Erin asked me to join a small group that were going to Myles' afterward for beer and pizza. Being that I'm not in BG so often and that I live so far away, I don't usually have the chance to do things with the different people I know from classes. The best I usually can hope for is to share their company and conversation in the Student Union over lunch, and that's often just a random chance of whether one or more of them will even be at the Union at the time that I am. So anyhow, we went to Myles' after the Reading - me, Erin and her boyfriend Matt, Rachael and her fiance Matthieus, and Jon and I (and Bo was supposed to join us as well, but he never turned up, so we figured he must have bailed or something). We had some pizza, a few of the others had drinks, and we joked and talked for about two hours before we decided to head our separate ways. It was a good time, and it was even better, I think, since I have had so few opportunities to hang out with this particular group of people. It's sort of bittersweet in a way, too - all of these people but Jon will graduate in two weeks, and I will probably never see them again. I guess that makes it even cooler that I got to spend some time with them. I'm getting to know some of the younger sect of Creative Writing majors, but so many people are graduating whom I have known really well that I feel like I'm going to be losing touch with pretty much all of the remaining friends I have left on campus. Sure, Manny will still be around next year, and Laura will still have another year of grad school here. Even Penny will still be here another year, but I'll have to be making all new acquaintances next year otherwise, and that's not one of my stronger suits. Next year will definitely be different, that's for sure. It signals a lot of change, and that's going to be a lot to deal with. I'm not sure if I'm really looking forward to that or not.
I hate Spring. The fresh, soft air, the full breezes, the budding flowers, and the sweeping presence of bright green across the landscape - all of that is wonderful and should make me happy. Instead, the feeling that 'Spring is in the air' brings with it the idea that 'Springtime is for lovers' and 'Love is (also) in the air.' Add to that all of the cute guys everywhere that are dressed in just shorts, flip-flops, and t-shirts after having been heavily clothed for months during winter. It's all just torture for me. The weather and the season tell me that love is waiting for me; the beautiful guys are all around me, tempting and teasing me with their drool-worthiness; and I stand alone and unloved through it all, the same as I do so often during springtime. It's hard enough to be alone and try to cope with that, but the added effects of Spring honestly make every moment of every day absolute torture me. Come on, you say. Ask some of these guys out; you'll be surprised, No, I won't. The only surprise would be why I even tried again, giving myself yet another chance to be shot down and told "I don't think of you that way" or "You're not my type" or "You can't be serious." Hell, I've gotten those reactions when I was younger, in better shape, and had a better attitude (a happier attitude), and that makes quite clear that things will be even less successful now than they were then. I'm just tired of being sad. Damnit, it's just not fucking fair! I hate this damn Spring bullshit. I hate this fucking existence. Posted at 1:26 AM
Ah, poor Futurama ... your life was cut far too short by idiotic FOX executives who couldn't even give you the chance of being regularly shown at the same time and day even two weeks in a row. Your absence is our loss. Repeats on Cartoon Network just aren't enough, damnit! Posted at 11:05 PM
Belching the alphabet is vulgar, but forming all twenty-six letters of the alphabet in a row from one belch - that's talent. Posted at 11:49 PM
For the last few days my grandmother has been feeling tired and under the weather. It's not surprising, considering how busy we were last weekend with my mom, sister, and the kids visiting, and also considering we got up quite early three days in a row, leaving short nights of sleep. All of this, as well as the lack of my grandmother's usual nightly nap in her recliner as she watches TV, easily left her sort of tired. She didn't even notice on Monday or Tuesday, and she kept busily doing things all around the house. By Tuesday night, though, she was tired and not feeling well. She never really got sick, and we still doubt that she caught a cold, but she was very weakened and achy for days in a row. Even now, as she is finally feeling a bit better, she is still somewhat tired and not very hungry (although she's better than she was, when I practically had to force her to eat anything at all). Hopefully the next couple of days will see her back to full strength - a week of that stuff is enough. Meanwhile, I have been feeling better and better, my head cold losing strength each day until today it hardly was any bother. Unfortunately, I've been quite tired all day. I didn't sleep well last night, and I'm sure that had a lot to do with it, but I also had planned to work in the yard most of the day today, and that may have had something to do with it to (at least on a subconscious level, because I really didn't want to work on the yard). Sadly, I didn't do anything in the yard and I'm feeling tired, so that's not all that great. Tomorrow I really should work on the yard, but we'll see how that goes. I still have a couple of stories to critique and write up feedback for the authors, and that will take a little while. Hopefully I can do the schoolwork as well as a little yardwork. It needs to be done, and I have to get back into the swing of doing that crap. That's part of the reason I'm here, after all. Posted at 12:07 AM
Hellboy is a pretty fuckin' cool movie. The storyline is great; the special effects and costuming are incredible; the acting is decent; and the action is non-stop. I don't understand why so many critics either didn't like the movie at all or thought that it fell apart in the end - I thought that it was fantastic. Sure, it slowed down a bit in the end, but it was still incredibly action-packed and fun. It certainly beat the hell out of Speed or Twister or anything involving Adam Sandler. Maybe these critics don't like comic book characters. Maybe they're just on crack. Who knows? I'll admit, I see movies so rarely any more that I'm excited about just about anything I watch, but I can still tell crap from good stuff, and this was quite excellent - fun, interesting with a rich background, and exciting. What the hell do people want anyhow? My recommendation is to go watch. You'll thank me, really. Posted at 12:18 AM
It's clear that the Bush administration has helped kids straighten out their priorities. Now kids are acting just as responsibly and decidedly as the president.
Posted at 9:41 PM
No, just like Mitt Romney says, he isn't homophobic ... he's just a Republican.
Posted at 10:15 PM
Ah, Richard Cohen ... he once again tells it like it is. I think I'd read the Washington Post for his columns alone, if for nothing else.
Posted at 1:03 AM
My grandmother told me that my father called yesterday morning after my mom, sister, niece and nephew had left. He "claimed" to be calling to talk to my mom, but he called late enough that it's obvious he knew they would be on the road by then. He then talked to my grandma for a while, telling her how they're really strapped for money and that my mom is thinking about getting a job. None of this is new - my parents are always complaining that, "Oh, woe is us; we're so poor." Well, take it from me, I know poor, and they've never seen it. My parents sold the house where I grew up as soon as I left for college, and they took that money and invested it while they lived rent-free for eighteen years in the second floor of my grandma's house (without being invited (or asking) and at my grandma's expense (they made her pay for two expansions to the second floor and never gave her a cent for that or for rent). Now granted, it's not uncommon for families to live together and conserve money, but my parents just squandered all of the money they had - some was lost in bad stock picks (which is completely their fault and like gambling in my mind), some was lost to their extensive world traveling, and some was just wasted because they're horrible with money and just waste, waste, waste. After nearly twenty years you'd think that they'd have a huge amount of money saved up that other people would have spent on rent or a mortgage. Not my folks. They had some, but not even enough to buy the house/condo they bought in Florida. They got a 30-year lease on the place (which is crazy considering they're in their sixties), and they unnecessarily spent thousands of dollars redecorating (the homes were already painted and decorated, and I can understand wanting a little variety in paint color, but my parents went overboard), relandscaping (the landscaping was also done, and very nicely I might add, but they had to nearly triple the amount of landscaping for no clear reason), buying new furniture (they took a lot of their own furniture as well as over a dozen antique pieces, of my grandmother's, yet they still bought all so0rts of new furniture and paintings and such), and buying a golf cart (which, considering they have two cars (which in itself is overkill since they go everywhere together), is just really quite unnecessary). Their actions so far don't merit any sympathy. If they're broke, it's their own damn fault. They had it easy living here and decided to move - that's fine, but they're adults, and they should be able to plan ahead and have enough money to make things work. As it was, my mom talked my grandma into giving her $30,000 so that she and my dad could spend like mad (and my grandma had thought that they planned to apply it to paying the principle on the house). It just incenses me that my asshole father is trying to play this game with my grandmother where he makes her feel sympathetic, even guilty, for their financial problems when it's their own damn fault. It's clear that they plan to push my grandma into "helping them out" with more money, and she's not really in a position to give away any more of what she has. I'm pissed off with the whole situation, and it drives me crazy that my parents are both such assholes. My father certainly has all of the hatred I can muster, but my mother comes a close second. I simply don't understand how any two people can be so fucking selfish. Posted at 12:34 AM
Well, they're gone. My sister and mother packed up themselves and the kids early this morning and were on the road by about 8 AM. Having gotten up at 7 AM again was no thrill, I can assure you, but I was glad to have the last few minutes to say goodbye to everyone. I had a really good time with my sister and the kids, and I can't wait to see them again (although the earliest I'll see them will be July, assuming my sister can even manage to find the time to visit this summer as she hopes to). I really miss being around while they're growing up. I spent most of the day trying to catch up on my studies after getting so little done all weekend. I've made a sizeable dent in the pile , but there's still a lot to do, so I'll be a busy boy for at least the next couple of days. It was well worthy getting backed up on classwork, though. This visit was great for me. Posted at 2:23 AM
Today was a big day for the kids (my nephew and niece). Easter is always a big deal for kids - certainly not as big as Christmas but still big. My niece, Christa, was up with the rising sun, it seems, and it was al my sister could do to keep her in bed for a while until it wasn't ridiculously early (although in my opinion, getting up at 7 AM as all of us did was ridiculously early, even though I know as a kid that I didn't feel that way). We were up and about early, getting things ready and then following the kids around as they hunted for Easter eggs. When my sister and I used to hunt eggs as kids, it was always at my grandma's house with eggs hidden throughout the living room and dining room, usually about two dozen. My sister and I raced each other to find the most eggs, and my grandma could get pretty creative in where she hid things (one year getting so creative that we never found one of the eggs and my grandma couldn't even remember for herself where she'd hidden it ... until a few months later when it made it's presence known). When Hunter, my nephew, was born, he hunted for eggs through both rooms just like we had, but when Christa was born, my sister decided that they should each have their own room with an equal number of eggs to find - that way they wouldn't fight. I suppose that's been handy, and it has kept them from fighting over eggs, but I think they could have worked it out okay. As much as my sister and I fought about so many other things, we were pretty civil about hunting eggs; it was a race, sure, and we were very competitive, but we didn't fight over who got what egg, and we didn't fight over who had the most at the end. We had fun, and that was great in itself. After the last eggs were found, the kids looked through their Easter baskets. They had a couple new sets of clothes, a few cheap small toys each, and lots of candy. When they found the jelly beans, they were quite unimpressed (as my niece said, deadpan, "Oh. Jelly beans. I don't like jelly beans."). This wouldn't be that significant except that while my grandma and I were buying the candy at Meijer, she was single-minded about getting jelly beans. She would dismiss other candies I found and often tell me that the jelly beans and a chocolate bunny for each kid would be enough, and she was sure, from the moment we stepped through the doorway into the store, that they must not have jelly beans because she couldn't see them. She continued to despair that there were no jelly beans as we passed the first foot of displays of Easter candies, then the second foot, and so on as we passed one foot after another of endless displays. With each new foot she would bemoan the absence of jelly beans and assure me that they must not have them and then worriedly ask me, "What will we do? Where will we find them?" Each foot of display she did this, and of course the jelly beans (the slowest-selling candy in the display I might add) was in the last couple of feet of probably about sixty feet of displays (considering there was stuff on both sides of the shelving in the aisles. This sort of unfounded worrying is a trademark quality in my grandmother, and there are times that she can truly drive me insane with her baseless concerns, but I try to be patient every time and calm her down until I can prove there's nothing to worry about. I had done this at Meijer last week, buying these candies, but now all I can remember is that the kids didn't even want those damn jelly beans. It's just insane. So with the egg hunting and gifts out of the way, we all got cleaned up. The rest of the family went to church (I used to do so to please my mother and grandmother, but I really don't have the stomach for attending church anymore), and I stayed and worked on some stuff for school. They had all gone to Cracker Barrel yesterday as well, and I didn't go because I despise Cracker Barrel and their bigoted employment stances. So I made myself lunch yesterday and tried to get some work done. I really didn't have any chances to read books or read stories for workshop otherwise, so it was just as well. After they returned from church, however, we all gathered together and went to Sawmill Creek Resort for the Easter brunch. I've mentioned Sawmill before in this Journal, and it's really a wonderful resort, much like some of the better state parks for the views, wooded paths, golfing, and lodge, but we really only go for these buffets that they hold on major holidays. The food, as always, was good. The eye candy, as always, was excellent. And the kids had a good time while they were there, and my grandma enjoyed going as well. We watched a couple of cartoons when we got back, and my sister tried to study some for her classes (she's pursuing a doctorate on weekends, around work and the kids). We cued up Joe's Apartment from my video collection for the kids to watch after a short while. It was just on the borderline of having a little too much profanity for the kids, but the vulgarity was infrequent and overshadowed by the humor that runs throughout that movie. They both really enjoyed it. We ate not long after that, and then we were in front of the TV again. It seems that my nephew and niece watch an inordinate amount of TV, but the next movie we watched had a purpose. My sister had rented a DVD of Oliver because both kids are in that play/musical at school, and she wanted them to practice while they were away from home. What better way than to follow along with the movie and sing along? It was a good idea ... at first. The kids are in the first act, and they were very attentive, but their attentions dropped in the second act, and they gravitated toward me, since I was reading a story on my computer at the back of the room. It ended up that Hunter was showing me the pets he's got at NeoPets.com, and showing me what all of their powers are and such. It's very Pokemon-like in a lot of ways, so I could see his interest. He also wanted to see how I did in the Teen Titans Battle Blitz at Cartoon Network's website. He's apparently playing a lot of different online kids games, but this is his favorite. We played around a bit more, but my batteries were running low by then. The kids got ready for bed not long after that, and the days was winding down. Somehow, the kids managed to talk my sister into allowing them to watch one more cartoon before they went to bed, and I laid down in my living room to watch the last of The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy and then a repeat of Teen Titans which they had both seen but I hadn't (I'd seen part, but not all of it). Hunter and Christa pretty much laid on top of me, as if I was a pillow, for most of that time, and it was a nice, comfy family feeling, something I have far too little of. The shows didn't last long, and the kids were soon off to bed, and I've been surfing the Net a bit since then, but I can't say that I'll stay up too much longer myself. It's been a good day, though - full and good. Posted at 11:52 PM
My nephew Hunter is starting to warm up to me again. It takes a day or two each time we see each other for him to be comfortable with me - I don't know if I'm scary or what, but he's always standoffish for a while. The irony, of course, is that he's only ever here for three of four days, so just about as soon as he gets comfortable with me, they're gone, and I'll have to go through the whole thing all over again the next time we see each other. We did all sorts of stuff today. We joked around a bit in the morning as we got ready, and we made our way over to Toft's for lunch. Toft's is our local dairy, but they have a soda fountain and ice cream shop (that also serves sandwiches) and they've been around for years. They have simply the best ice cream you could taste, and it's always a favorite stop when my sister visits town. We stopped at Bailey's afterward, the store next door, to look through their little nik-naks and stuff, and then we went back home. My sister set the kids up to watch my Powerpuff Girls Movie video, and my mom and I ran my grandma to her hair styling appointment and then took care of some paperwork dealing with my grandma's legal affairs. By the time we got back, we barely caught the end of the movie : ( ... but then we caught a bit of the end of the Blues Brothers movie on VH-i, and any part of that movie, only five minutes worth, is hilarious. It took a bit to break the kids away from the TV, but we got set to color Easter eggs and got everyone settled in the kitchen. We had the normal egg-dye where you just dip and dry, but we also had this "egg paint" that my mother had bought. The "egg paint" was pretty much a disaster. It stained everything; it took forever to dry; and it still came off on your fingers after you were sure that it was fixed in place. It looked cool, though, if you painted it right, sort of like a tye-die or a blend of color. After painting the eggs, Hunter and I went upstairs and watched stuff I had taped from Cartoon Network last night, the collected second season of the Star Wars: Clone Wars cartoon shorts and a new episode of Mucha Luca!, a favorite with both kids. Christa joined us to watch Mucha Luca!, and both kids spent some time drawing on some paper I gave them. Once the cartoon finished, I got started fixing dinner for everybody, baking, frying, chopping, stirring - you know the routine. I did pretty well, I guess, because the kids actually ate a decent amount each (which is often a challenge for decent food). We finished off most everything I had prepared, and I cleaned everything up afterward while my sister gave both kids baths. After his bath, Hunter joined me upstairs and we watched a new cartoon called Duel Masters. Neither of us had ever seen this (it's that new), but Hunter is really into Pokemon and Yugi-oh!, so I knew he's get into this. It was pretty hokey and formulaic, as pretty much all of these battling monster-type cartoons are, but it was fun. Hunter joked around with me about what he saw and heard in the show, and I really enjoyed feeling like he and I were sharing that show together. It's something I wish I had more of, but I'll just take what I can get. After that, we gathered the whole family together and watched Village of the Damned from my movie collection. It's sort of scary, as kids would see it, but nothing really disturbing, so it went over well. Christa was completely asleep within moments of it starting, though, and I had to carry her up to bed - she simply was so zonked that she didn't even wake up. My sister claims that Christa is too big to carry now, but she was easy to take upstairs. It felt nice to put her to bed and see her so sound asleep, too. I'm really missing out on a lot of things like this with kids, and don't think that I don't realize it. It's rather upsetting to want to have kids but not have it work out that way, and while it's probably best that I don't have kids, since I'm in no position to take care of them right now (either financially or with the responsibilities of taking care of my grandma), that still doesn't mean that I don't feel the ache of not having them. It was a nice day all around. We set up Easter baskets and cleaned up the house a bit after the kids went to sleep, but we all were ready to turn in pretty early, sure that the kids will be up at the crack of dawn to see their Easter baskets and hunt for eggs. I'm still up, surfing and typing, but even I will soon sleep. It's been a good day, though, a very good day. Posted at 12:35 AM
My niece and nephew are balls of energy. At ages five and eight, respectively, they pretty much bounce off the walls continuously, and it's great to observe. As usual, it took a while for them to warm up to me, since they haven't seen me for a while, but once they were comfortable with me again, they were talking non-stop. Hunter, my nephew, was particularly talkative once we started discussing our favorite cartoons, comics, and video games. My sister, mother, father, and grandmother are always quite lost on these topics (although my sister has a fair knowledge of cartoons). My brother-in-law is very well-versed in comics but not much in the other two areas. So my interest and knowledge in all three areas is a huge plus for Hunter since he has someone to talk to about these things. It's fun for me, too, because I don't often feel that there are many (any) people I can talk to about these interests. Sure, I have a few friends who follow a lot in the world of comics, but few watch cartoons (Tijuan is a notable exception) and fewer play video games. So it's fun to talk with him; it's even more fun just to listen to him and watch him. He gets so excited and hyped, it's enchanting to watch. He's full of boyish energy, and it would be nice to believe that he could keep that his whole life. It's great to be able to relate to him, though. It makes me feel good about myself. Posted at 12:33 AM
My second story for my Fiction Workshop was workshopped today. Opinions were mostly positive, but there were a vast number of suggestions for change. That should make the revisions interesting. At least I have a new story that will eventually make it onto this site (assuming I can find the time I need to rework things). Meanwhile, back in Sandusky ... My mother, sister, nephew, and niece have arrived to celebrate the Easter weekend with my grandma and me. That should be fun. I think the happiest memories my sister and I have of any holidays were of Easter. Most holidays were held at our house, and my drunken father made everyone miserable, regardless o the occasion. Easter, however, was different since we went to my grandmother's house to get our Easter baskets of candy, hunt for colored eggs, and have a great Easter dinner. My sister has continued the tradition, bringing both of her kids, each year, to celebrate Easter at my grandma's house in the same way that we enjoyed. The big difference is that this year, I'm living here and not my father, so I get to spend time with my niece and nephew and not my asshole father. It's about fucking time. I'll keep you all posted about how the weekend develops. Posted at 1:18 AM
Ooh! Look at me! I'm still sick. (Made 'ya look). Posted at 11:37 PM
I'm beginning to really love Richard Cohen's columns in the Washington Post. Today's article is a prime example. Is this man ever wrong?
Posted at 11:39 PM
Day four, and my persistent head cold remains a pain in my ass. I suppose I should be happy that it has kept to just my head and not moved forward to giving me upset stomachs or worse. Still, the filled sinuses and the headaches are not all all fun. They're worse today than they've been so far, but I'm living, so I guess that's a plus. The phlemy-goodness that had me hacking up really ugly things for the last three days is mostly gone, though, and while that's a plus, I'm not sure if the continually runny nose and annoying drainage running down my throat is any better. Yum. Well, it has to go away sometime, right? I have classes again tomorrow, so that's not going to help me beat this any easier. There's always tonight, and hopefully some solid sleep will give my body a chance to knock this cold down a notch or more. That's about all I can hope for, I suppose. Anything that keeps me from having this bad of a runny nose would certainly be a solid improvement. Posted at 9:42 PM
While I agree wholeheartedly with everything that George Wilson writes in his opinion column in today's Washington Post, I want to take extra time to focus on just the first paragraph. Look closely. These figures aren't exaggerated. I've read other analyses that claim the total U.S. Defense budget is large enough that if it were used in more beneficent endeavors, it could provide the basic necessities of life (basic food, shelter, and medical assistance) to every person in the world. I have little doubt that this is true. Instead of supporting life and eliminating poverty and famine, we spend our money on the most expensive killing machines and explosives possible. Bigger spending means more death, right, and that must be a good thing? It's not enough, apparently, that we are already superior to all other military forces in the world in technologies, firepower, and sheer numbers; we have to spend billions of dollars to better kill people rather than allow them to live. So is it just me, or is it clear that the U.S. government is insane? Anyhow, here's what got me going on this:
Posted at 12:46 AM
Aaaack!! Excuse me while I cough up a ball of phlegm. That's been my life today. Phlegmy, coughing, a bit achy and headachy, but not really crippling - just annoying and uncomfortable. It certainly makes it a challenge to get things done. Posted at 1:35 AM
Bah! I'm coming down with something. My sinuses are alternately filling and draining, my throat is getting slimy and phlegmy, I'm coughing (because of the slime and phlegm.), and I'm getting a headache. They're all interrelated, and there's not a whole lot I can do but ride it through whatever this will bring. I had been coughing a bit earlier today and just hoping that it wasn't anything big, but it's clearly more than just a passing thing. Now I have to figure out how to take care of my grandma without passing this on to her. Should make fixing and eating meals a lot more complicated. Joy. Oh well. This stuff happens. I just hope it doesn't 'happen' for long. Posted at 2:47 AM
Ah, there's no fool like an April Fool. A little known fact that I'll share with you today - when my mother was pregnant with me, my expected delivery date was actually April 1st (that goes far to explain much of my life, when you think about it). My April Fool's joke on my mom was that I came 13 days early! Surprise! I was born early on a Palm Sunday morning, surprising everyone. And you know what they say about kids born on Sunday:
Obviously I'm light-skinned and blond, so the fair part rings true, and while I'm as flawed as the next person, I'd like to believe that I'm wise. Heck, I'm even good sometimes ("... and when I'm bad," as May West said, "I'm even better."). But who would have guessed that I'd be pegged as gay from birth? I guess it's true - homosexuality is decided at birth. You saw the proof here, folks. Posted at 1:27 AM
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April
30, 2004
