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April 2009

 

April 30, 2009

Why is it so hard to understand the concept of a much-needed break - a vacation if you must call it that?

Imagine you work your job 6-12 hours a day. You perform a variety of tasks - doing what could honestly be a half-dozen or more separate part time jobs (or at least two and half full-time jobs) - and while your work jumps from one task to another (and one 'hat' to another), you put in a long day's work. But it doesn't just end after those specific 6-12 hours. No - you're on call the rest of the hours of the day. More than that in fact - you have to do a full check of things every 15-60 minutes to make sure things are okay, and fix things if anything's wrong. Even at night, as you sleep, you're expected to keep one ear listening for trouble and jump awake and check out any disturbance, no matter what it might be - just in case.

This job you're imagining doesn't just require you to be alert for 24 hours. You have to do this 24 hours every day - 7 days a week, 365 days a year. You get no evenings off. You get no weekends. On rare occasions (and with short notice) you may be given a break of 1-4 weeks once every 6 months to 2 years, but nothing you can count on by any stretch of the imagination.

For all of this you get mostly-free room and board (specifically no rent and most but not all of your utilities paid and your food paid (sometimes all of your food, sometimes a fraction of what you buy)). Your expenses, of course, aren't limited to just a place to live and food to eat, but pretty much everything else is considered your problem , and your boss has no concern about your financial problems so long as you don't quit and keep doing your job.

Now mind you, your supervisors constantly accuse you, directly and indirectly, of having an easy, cushy job and accuse you of taking advantage of your boss and taking the boss's money behind her back. Your supervisors will deny this when confronted with your boss,fly even though they may say things directly to your face and certainly have no problem talking about you behind your back, and their back-biting is so constant and determined that your boss clearly also thinks you basically just lay about and do nothing - even as they clearly have to see all of the work you've done and keep doing in every room they walk through, every appointment they attend, every financial concern that has been attended to, and every need that they've possibly had.

Any sane person would, of course, quit (at the least), but you've committed yourself and given your word to stay as long as needed, and as tortuous as the job may be - and as little appreciated - you still feel what you do is important and meaningful.

But no matter how meaningful you feel it may be, is it too much to ask that during those rare instances you get a break that you have a real break - a certain span of time free from the boss or the supervisors? Is it wrong to expect that, even if it's just time off at home and not what could be properly called a vacation, that being called three of the first four days of your break and then again a week later - that being called is just wrong? Even if it's just a mostly social call, is it so hard to understand that you're not thrilled to have your rare down-time interrupted and be reminded of the relentless job that you'll all-too-soon be back at? Is it wrong when the boss asks if you miss her after just one week to think she's insane? No matter how much somebody likes or loves their boss - who wants to have them call a week into an incredibly rare break from work?

My grandmother and my mother are either seriously inconsiderate, unbelievably stupid, or wholly sadistic (or some combination thereof). Regardless of what it is, I don't have the patience for it. This brief and long-overdue break is supposed to give me a chance to wind down and relax and recharge, but how can I be expected to do that when I keep getting thrown right back into the stresses of caregiving, just as I've finally begun to mentally distance myself from it all and find some 'me' time?

Posted at 7:40 PM

 

April 29, 2009

To. Hell. In. A. Handbasket.

Posted at 9:37 PM

 

April 28, 2009

I'd rather be relaxing and enjoying my time off than working on these damn projects. What the hell is wrong with me to make these projects such priority?

Posted at 11:32 PM

 

April 27, 2009

Why is there not a copyright lawsuit raging between Warner Brothers and Weight Watchers? Seriously.

Have you seen the new Weight Watchers ads with the Hungry monster? It doesn't just look similar to Gossamer, the Looney Tunes monster - it's fucking identical.

Am I the only person who picks up on these things?

Posted at 5:37 PM

 

April 26, 2009

Why can't it just be 68 degrees Fahrenheit all the time?

The days in the 50's have been okay, if slightly cool at times, but to jump to the 80's while bypassing the 70's entirely is hardly fair.

My plans of not running the air conditioners upstairs as a cost cutting measure this summer may seriously have to be rethought.

Posted at 5:32 PM

 

April 25, 2009

Oh well - I think I already knew last night that hoping to get lots of yardwork done today was doomed to failure since I would have to struggle to get myself motivated. I've still got a few weeks and potentially better weather (it was quite hot today), so it will get done before my grandma returns.

Hopefully I'll get it done sooner than later, but one thing's for certain - it won't be today.

Posted at 7:56 PM

 

April 24, 2009

One more large project done as of today (making two done in this first week of my break from my grandma), three more large projects to go (and a number of small projects and errands are done, too, with just a few more to go).

I'm tired and a bit achy right now, but I'm going to try to dig into the next big project and do the full spring clean-up and prep of the yard (which I expect to take at least two long days). Part of me says, "Screw it," but a big part of me wants to get another big project completed and out of the way. Plus, tomorrow is expected to be sunny and in the low 70's, so perfect for a day outside.

Let's hope I can keep myself motivated enough to beat back my depression and get outside to get things under way. Once it's done I'll be much happier all around.

Posted at 7:49 PM

 

April 23, 2009

Why is it that every time I go out to do a few quick errands before getting started on one of the projects I want to work on, I instead find myself doing a few remarkably drawn-out errands that somehow lead to doing other, previously unplanned errands, finally getting back much later than possibly expected and completely uninterested in doing anything with the project that I'd planned to be the main focus of the day?

Posted at 8:02 PM

 

April 22, 2009

It's Earth Day. Celebrate and be good to our wonderful world.

Just don't tell the other planets - they'd surely be jealous since they don't have their own days of celebration (and the worst would be Uranus - he can be such an asshole).

Posted at 9:09 PM

 

April 21, 2009

"Get the facts first; you can distort them later."

- Mark Twain

Excellent advice for my grandma, mother, and sister (Better advice would be to not even distort the facts once you have them, but why expect the impossible from anyone in my family).

Posted at 10:40 PM

 

April 20, 2009

End it.

Posted at 7:17 PM

 

April 19, 2009

Yesterday didn't seem as exhausting as today's lethargy, aches, and pains would suggest. Why I feel so miserable today is a mystery, but it's put a huge damper on the projects I had planned to start.

I could do without feeling like crap, projects or not. I know I'm past that cold I had, and this just seems more like exhaustion. I feel like I could sleep for days.

Posted at 5:56 PM

 

April 18, 2009

Well, my mom left with my grandma for a month-long visit to my mom's new home in northern Alabama. Today I spent a long, not-as-fruitful-as-I'd-have-liked day taking care of errands and tasks and starting projects. Hopefully I'll get some rest and enjoyment out of my brief break from caring from my grandma, but I've set myself on a path to do a number of things that will probably keep me much more busy than I'd like. Still, I have to take advantage of the moments when I'm inspired enough to do a project or two, so ... so be it (I'll still try to find some time to relax, though).

Posted at 10:57 PM

 

April 17, 2009

Shouldn't I be planning on how to relax and enjoy my brief break from caring for my grandma instead of planning a number of significant projects that will take a great deal of time and effort? Am I truly insane? Does anybody care? Anybody?

Posted at 11:33 PM

 

April 16, 2009

Happy Birthday to the King of Karaoke - my friend Chris! Love ya, bud!

Posted at 9:30 PM

 

April 15, 2009

I've been having some weird cramping today with one of my abdominal muscles, about mid-abs on the left. It has seriously constricted when it's cramped, and I can feel it very clearly (I have no real definition nor any real abdominal musculature to speak of, so it's quite exceptional). I've massaged it and stretched my body repeatedly, but it still keeps feeling like it's just about to hitch again and cramp like mad. I feel lucky that it's not doing what it's threatening to do, but I'm not pleased that it's like this at all.

Posted at 11:00 PM

 

April 14, 2009

A bird in the hand leaves bird poop.

At least that's my experience ...

Posted at 5:34 PM

 

April 13, 2009

A little concentrated good luck, just for once, would be nice.

Posted at 9:58 PM

 

April 12, 2009

And no sooner had they arrived but they're gone.

Posted at 5:54 PM

 

April 11, 2009

First Gygax, now Arneson. If Steve Jackson dies anytime soon, geeks everywhere will be crushed - me included.

Posted at 11:30 PM

 

April 10, 2009

Well, one day is hardly enough to predict how this entire weekend visit will go, but spending today with my sister, nephew, and niece (and my grandma, of course) has been pretty enjoyable. It's a nice change from some of the last few visits. Let's hope the whole weekend can be as pleasant.

Posted at 8:49 PM

 

April 9, 2009

I was busy doing a lot of last-minute things today to get ready for the visit, but nothing was very stressful or taxing. Still, I've had a splitting migraine all day. Light, sound - everything intensifies it. Just another day in paradise, huh?

I could do without it.

Posted at 8:31 PM

 

April 8, 2009

Cleaning the house top to bottom has been a real trial with the lingering effects of this cold in place. I've had horrible headaches throughout the entirety of the past two days; I've been exhausted and achy beyond measure; I've been snuffling and hacking dust and phlegm like mad; and my eyes hurt like a motherfucker. Things are clean , though, and ready for my sister, nephew, and niece to arrive late tomorrow.

Now if I only had a few days to rest ...

Posted at 9:54 PM

 

April 7, 2009

I do love and appreciate Barney Frank. He's bold and fearless and outspoken. He's exactly what a US Congressman should be.

Posted at 10:12 PM

 

April 6, 2009

There is no need to do any housework at all. After four years the dirt doesn’t get any worse.

- Quentin Crisp

Posted at 8:36 PM

 

April 5, 2009

What a waste.

Posted at 8:22 PM

 

April 4, 2009

Where has this trend come from where TV ads are now universally as inspid and banal as could possibly be imagined in the basest depths of stupidity?

Posted at 8:26 PM

 

April 3, 2009

It always just keeps getting worse, doesn't it?

Posted at 7:34 PM

 

April 2, 2009

The Fast and the Furious was followed by 2 Fast 2 Furious and now Fast and Furious. Should we expectFast/Furious in a couple of years, followed by F/F and later by F2? Surely there's no end to such idiocy.

Posted at 8:48 PM

 

April 1, 2009

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again exactly the same way and expecting a different outcome each time -- or it could just be that somebody spent even the smallest amount of time with my grandma.

Posted at 11:06 PM

 


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Journal, by Paul Cales, © April 2009