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Can't we just skip ahead a week? Aren't there times you wish you could do that? Posted at 10:34 PM
My grandma had another fall today. She fell pretty hard in the kitchen and has had me worried all afternoon, but other than an ugly knot on her head and some associated pain from that she seems fine. In fact, once she got past being upset and anxious about falling, she has seemed almost as if nothing at all had happened. I think she'll be quite stiff tomorrow and probably even have trouble sleeping tonight due to the bump on the back of her head, but she's blowing it off as usual, as if nothing were the matter. I'll be the first to admit that at 95 years of age my grandma hasn't fallen much or very often, and she somehow manages to get by with a minimum of damage every time. In fact it's been maybe four months since her last fall, and the last one wasn't very bad either. The problem is that since she falls so rarely and since she has been lucky and not gotten hurt much at all, she sees no danger. She as much as thinks she's indestructible, and she scoffs at any worries that she'll break a hip or do some other kind of damage - which at her age are very real concerns. I'm worried about her of course, but as with so many of the problems that have arisen with her, I'm really at a loss of how to keep her safe all the time. Even if I were always in the same room with her every minute of the day, she could still fall before I could reach her and catch her or something else might happen. It's hard to deal with facing an inability to keep her safe no matter how much I try. I can only hope she keeps being healthy and keeps staying lucky ... but neither of those things will last forever ... and at some point I'll have to deal with that. I just hope that day's still a long way off. Posted at 10:08 PM
I should get money back for every minute the cable transmission glitches and every minute cable Internet bandwidth drops to zero. I'm paying for a service 24-hours a day. Every minute (or hour in certain cases) that I have nothing or close to nothing, I should get credited back. It's either that or they could just charge me less per month as a compromise. I suppose I could accept that. Posted at 11:44 PM
Clean and sparkly! It's very true that I thoroughly enjoy a very squeaky clean living space. It's just a shame that I'm too lazy (and/or too much of a procrastinator) to do any cleaning for months at a time. It's a good thing I'm anal retentive and obsessive compulsive because that keeps me putting things away or in the right place, including dishes (which means dishes must be washed and put away right after they're through being used). If it weren't for the accumulation of dust and the rings in the sinks and tub after two or three months of being ignored then I'd never worry about cleaning at all. Posted at 4:34 PM
I've gone far, far, far too long since I've cleaned my second floor living spaces - far, far, far, far, far too long. I can't convey how truly far too long. It's like -- OH SHIT - THE GIANT DUST BUNNIES ARE COMING!! AHHHHHH!!!! Posted at 10:51 PM
Ever find yourself sure you've done something only to find you hadn't? Yeah, I hate it when that happens, too. Posted at 11:34 PM
I should have stayed in bed today. Posted at 9:38 PM
Ever wonder what filet of piranha tastes like? Posted at 9:48 PM
What can I say that I haven't already said? Posted at 11:07 PM
This morning I had a historic piss followed by a historic shit. Even earlier I had a historic scratching of my balls. As I write there is a historic rainfall coming down on this historic day at this historic house. Historically speaking, these histrionics are hysterical and hyperbolic and horribly heavy-handed. Heaven forbid we hear more hopped-up hype. If we do I may hurl. The use of the word historic over the past decade has driven me nearly insane. Taken at its most basic definition, ever event is historic because once it's done it's history, but that's not really what historic is supposed to mean. Historic is supposed to mean 'monumental' and 'something that will hold a lasting marking point in history such that people will recall it and the date it happened specifically.' People remember the historic moment when men walked on the moon. They remember when JFK was shot. Do they remember the date and what they were doing when Medicare was passed? No. Do they remember (or care) what date it was and where they were when NAFTA passed? No. The passing of a watered-down, beleaguered, less-than-popular health care plan, after a year-and-a-half of wasted time is not historic. Is it significant? Yes. Does it offer a chance for continued health care reform and expanded coverage? Yes. Does it do even half of what was initially promised? No. Was it made outrageously more complicated and expensive than it needed to be? Yes. Will it be attacked and changed relentlessly for the next decade before most of it even takes effect? You bet. Is it historic? No. Use the word historic for what it means. I haven't read a commentary, blog, or online article yet last night or this morning that hasn't used the word 'historic' somewhere in the first paragraph. It's pathetic. Not only are there much more appropriate words for this situation, but it boggles the mind that every pundit, blogger, and reporter in the world can find only that one word to use when writing about something that has already been in the news for almost three years. This is not the first abuse of the word 'historic' - it has been contextually elevated beyond its definition for years, largely by the mostly-illiterate Bush administration, and the abuse needs to stop. Now if you'll excuse me it's time to prepare my historic lunch. Posted at 11:34 AM
Where's the love, folks? Where's the love? Posted at 9:08 PM
Spring is here (at least technically). Posted at 8:37 PM
Whoop-dee-doo. I'm now forty-three. How does anybody possibly think that's cause for celebration? Posted at 11:29 PM
... and the Irish luck seems to have lasted a bit, because today I had an e.mail from Sarah for the first time in ages! The e.mail was brief, but it was great to hear from her, and hopefully this will signal a return to regular contact. I've missed Sarah's positive, intelligent views of life. It's like I have things to look forward to now ... Posted at 11:41 PM
My Irish luck must have come through a bit today. My good friend Chris, newly back from Japan, called and talked with me for a couple of hours (until my cell phone's battery died). It was a real treat to talk with Chris, and now that he's back in the U.S. for at least a while, I'll hopefully have many more conversations with him. Posted at 9:34 PM
Pink monkey boogers ... barkle-garkle. Posted at 10:52 PM
Beware the Ides, Caesar salad. A thousand treacherous forks lie in wait to stab at thee. Posted at 9:07 PM
So now the idiot Tea Party is being countered by a growing, equally idiotic Coffee Party. When the Hot Chocolate Party forms I'll start calling for the government to save mankind and nuke all of America because the majority of people will be complete nut jobs and must be destroyed if humanity is to survive. I am all for more than two parties in the American political system, but the only place for crazy groups like the Tea Party and the Coffee Party are in a system that already has a number of strong sane and intelligent parties, and so far the Democratic and Republican parties barely meet those qualifications. A few more parties would be excellent ... then the nut-job extremist parties like the Tea Party can form. But that's asking for sanity in politics and sanity from the majority of the American people. If that's what I expect then I must truly be the one that's crazy. Posted at 8:54 PM
A little luck would go a long way ... GOOD luck! Only good luck ... Posted at 9:46 PM
Posted at 9:10 PM
The whole world is insane. Posted at 10:39 PM
Ho hum. (... what prostitutes do when they're bored ...) Posted at 8:14 PM
Does the fact that I don't like Twitter or Facebook (or, to al large extent, any kind of texting or even chat) make me an old fuddy-duddy? I am a person who loves technology and gets into all of the new stuff, grabbing, buying, and using all I can afford to have, but certain things just don't excite me and sometimes outright bore or annoy me. Twitter and Facebook annoy me, each for different reasons, but basically because - to me - they trivialize human interaction and communication to the point of making it ridiculous. Why do you Twitter about being in the bathroom or waiting for the bus (unless there's some amusing anecdote about such things)? Why do you add someone as a 'Friend' in Facebook that not only was at best ever an acquaintance but often is someone you really never liked in the first place? It's really, to me, just a bunch of bullshit, and I'd rather chat, or even better, e.mail someone, and I'd prefer talking on the phone or better yet face to face. I appreciate that new tech makes it easier to talk to friends who are far away or busy - but using a cell phone (where long distance fees no longer really apply) resolves a lot of that, and e.mial and video chat are great, too, if used as a very real substitute for meeting someone face to face. But Twitter and Facebook? They're horrible. Yes, I have accounts on both. No - I don't like them. And why would I? Posted at 10:35 PM
There aren't enough things to do to keep my attention occupied. This time of year, particularly the week surrounding this time, the anniversary of Ken's death, it doesn't matter how much I have to do - or how much I apply myself to things to do ... I still feel Ken's absence. I'm tired, lethargic, morose, and easily brought to tears. You'd think after this many years I might have come to deal with things better, but I haven't. And as rough as this time of year can be for me, it's one wave of depression I can accept. Nothing has hit me harder than Ken's death and nothing likely will ... and nothing can ever diminish any of that. I wish I could stay in bed for a week, and I wish I could have stayed in bed all last week. I can't, of course, because of my need to care for my grandma ... but I still wish I could bury myself under the covers for the two weeks surrounding that horrible day. It would be minimal comfort ... but it would be more than I've gotten otherwise. Posted at 9:10 PM
Sixteen years gone, my love, and you still have my heart. I can't imagine how I've survived without you all these years. The pain has often been unbearable, and the emptiness from your loss has never diminished. I don't know how I make it through any given day, and I don't know why I try. I only know I miss you and I hope that we will someday soon, by some miracle, be together again. Is there an afterlife, a Heaven? I don't know ... but I can only hope that all of these years of suffering might be made up for with a chance for more time with you. I love you more than ever, Ken, and I miss you more than ever. I have lived too long without you, and all for nothing. I can only hope that you have found peace and happiness. You deserve no less and far better, and I will honor and cherish your memory forever still. I don't want you to be gone ... Posted at 11:58 PM
Posted at 6:58 PM
Missing you still ... every day. Posted at 7:36 PM
: ( Posted at 11:30 PM
Kill me. Posted at 11:47 PM
Help! The TV wasteland is draining my brain cells! Ack! Posted at 11:00 PM
Don't play the "what could have been" game, even in your dreams. There can never be a positive outcome since you can't change the past and shouldn't try or believe you should. Posted at 9:00 PM
Journal, by Paul Cales, © March 2010
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March 31, 2010
