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| message board November 2013
On this last day of November I expect to be outside raking leaves and freezing. The first three days of the coming week are the last leaf pick-up days and I have yet to have had a chance to get any leaves at all piled up for removal. Working the leaves has been a problem for weeks. The first leaf pick-up was in late October and it was a joke - the trees were full of leaves, almost all still quite green, and I would have been surprised if you could have filled a paper bag with leaves from the entire neighborhood. So that was a waste. A week or so after that, however, we had a freak storm that brought deep cold and rain and wind then turned to snow at the end, freezing the remaining rainwater somewhat. The leaves turned brown and fell in droves that day and what few leaves were still in the trees were down within a week. Unfortunately there was a pattern of extreme cold, rain or snow or extreme winds, and on the rare day that it wasn't bad enough that I might have had a chance to rake there were other things that had to be done: my mom's visit demanding other things, showings of the house pressing me, in-person applications needing to be filed as soon as I saw the advertisement of a job, etc. Even this chance today is limited in that tomorrow it is due to be below freezing with freezing rain and snow. And today will be no picnic. The temperature is predicted to reach a high of possibly 40 Fahrenheit, but it will take all morning and the first few hours after Noon to get there, and the temps will drop off immediately once it reaches that high. So it will be cold enough to be unpleasant even for me who prefers cold to heat, and of course it's raking leaves - a task I will do but don't enjoy (mostly - raking leaves in a proper Fall, in mid-fifties temps with no wind, clear blue skies, and making huge piles that young kids can play in - that I think is a wonderful thing ... but that's the only time raking leaves has any appeal whatsoever). So today will be cold and sucky. I just hope I can get through what needs to be done quickly and without too many blisters. We'll see. Posted at 8:02 AM
My Thanksgiving dinner was quite wonderful - tasty and filling (which should be after three plates full) - and I still have a good deal of left-overs. I'll be able to enjoy these wonderful tastes for a few more days and then be back to mac-n-cheese and peanut butter and honey sandwiches , my staple meals in my attempts to minimize my food costs (it makes for a very harsh comparison with the yumminess and fullness I got from my Thanksgiving feast). If things go in any way as I expect, next Thanksgiving will likely be just the same old cost-minimizing meals I have every other day because I can't see being able to shell out the extra cash to pull together anything close to a proper Thanksgiving meal. Of course in a perfect world I'd be dead by then and I wouldn't have to worry about the dinner or anything else. But of course my wishes for a quick, merciful death have been for naught for years, so I doubt I'll be given such a gift next year or any time soon, so I'll just have to do what I always do - stay miserable and somehow make it through each day. And the fun never ends ... Posted at 8:35 AM
It's Thanksgiving and a very light snow is falling. The flakes are so fluffy and light it's hard to believe that they can actually fall so slowly and be obeying the laws of physics. It's tranquil in a way that only really seems possible in Winter, still and quiet and beautiful. Posted at 8:48 AM
I should add to yesterday's comments about the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary episode/movie that two days before that, on Saturday, I watched "The Five(ish) Doctors Reboot" online. Even if the movie had sucked or just been disappointing, this half hour of Classic Doctors would have made up for it. In fact I still think - even as much as I did like the movie - I liked this gem more. I laughed at "The Five(ish) Doctors Reboot" so often and so hard I couldn't believe it. I can't remember the last time I laughed so much in a half hour or even in a whole day (or even a few days), and it was not just the comedy but the fan service and the very apparent mutual love of Doctor Who that filled every second. This was a huge, wonderful celebration of Doctor Who and a great way to celebrate the 50th Anniversary. Thanks guys. Posted at 8:38 AM
Last night I drove to Fallen Timbers, outside of Toledo, to watch the Doctor Who 50th anniversary special, The Day of the Doctor. It had been simulcast live on the anniversary Saturday in 94 countries including BBC America (and won a Guinness World Record for the largest ever simulcast), but I no longer get BBC America on my limited basic cable. It was also shown in select theaters internationally for only one day (Monday, yesterday) and only one or two showings), and since I didn't pre-order tickets until a few days ago it was sold out in a number of theaters, but fortunately I could still get tickets for Fallen Timbers. The movie was in 3-D for the theater version. I have been and remain of the opinion that 3-D still isn't that great as a technology and certainly doesn't make it worth paying extra for a movie. In this case I had no choice - there was only the 3-D option. I will say, though, that there were no valuable 3-D effects and the slight blurring and slight shading of the film by the 3-D process and glasses actually diminished the film for me just a bit. That said, though, it was a wonderful event. I call it an event because it was really much more than the movie alone. The crowd in itself was awesome, a huge, swelling groups of Doctor Who fans, many dressed in costumes or Who garb, wielding sonic screwdrivers, playing the prequel episodes on their cell phones before the pre-movie things showed on the screen, and being polite but enthusiastic during the film - and all ages were represented clearly. A half hour before the film was to start there were trivia and background clips show as is now common in most theaters before movies, but these were all Doctor Who trivia and background. It was great! The movie itself was fun in many of the ways that Classic Who used to be but the new series have rarely been. It had nods to the past, humor but not hokiness, boldness but not audacity, a serious, deadly threat without any apparent solution except possibly one very horrible option, and then a somewhat unexpected twist that allows the Doctor to truly save the day in a way nobody else could, in this case calling upon all of his past selves and even his yet-to-be-fully-depicted next incarnation (thirteen Doctors, wow!). It not only drew upon new Who and old Who but it was a very fitting complement to anniversary episodes of the past, sharing a number of similarities. As much as I have been frustrated with show-runner and head writer Steven Moffat, this special proved that he can write good Doctor Who and he does know and have some certain amount of respect for what has come before. There was a 'Making of' special following the movie that was okay but clearly tacked on to make up for the fact that the movie itself was only an hour and fifteen minutes long, but I enjoyed it anyhow. After I left and was driving back to Sandusky I played the Doctor Who themes from the past few seasons in the car from my iPod for the first nearly fifteen minutes of my drive. Normally I wouldn't go to a movie since it's not something I can justify as an expense. On rare occasions a movie comes up that I feel I must see on the big screen (like the Hobbit), but I see it in a matinee and certainly not in 3-D, keeping the costs low. This tim it was only at night and only in 3-D, and in all fairness this was a once-in-a-lifetime event. The last time Doctor Who was in movie theaters was the two films where Peter Cushing played the Doctor, and those were in 1965 and 1966, both before I was born. So I'm not exaggerating in saying this 50th anniversary film was once in a lifetime for me and many others. I'm glad I went. It was a great treat, and better even than I might have expected. Posted at 9:29 AM
I had lunch with my friend John yesterday, one of incredibly few friends I have right here in Sandusky. I get together with John far less than I should considering how accessible he is, but for the most part I am as happy just by myself as with company. I do have a very deep source of loneliness, but that is a loneliness that could only be filled by a life partner, a person with whom I shared a deep, resounding, profound connection, and if my life has shown me anything it's that the one person who did fill that role is dead and I have not seen his equal before or since. I would be open to finding another person to claim the title of 'love of my life', but I find it quite unlikely. Outside of finding and having that person constantly in my life, I prefer occasional company interspersing my solitary life. Hell, even when Ken and I were together when he was alive and we were close I still had a fair amount of solitary time, so even if I found another perfect man I likely would still want my times of solitude. Anyhow, all of that aside, I did enjoy my time with John yesterday, having lunch at the Subway downtown and chatting. It was nice. We didn't discuss any of my current or pending problems yesterday, and that was nice, too. It was like taking a break from those worries for a few hours, and I rarely have that sort of break. John also invited me to join him and his family for Thanksgiving dinner, and while I was grateful I politely declined. I have my Thanksgiving turkey breast and other fixings, and I've actually been looking forward to fixing and eating such a nice meal (and having plenty of leftovers). It was nice of John to ask, though. It was very thoughtful. Posted at 8:54 AM
Yikes, the skies are gray and dark, the weather's cold, and Winter seems imminent! Posted at 7:41 AM
Fifty years ago today, President John F. Kennedy was assassinated and his attack and passing chronicled on national television. The nation and the world were shocked and traumatized not merely by the death of a phenomenally popular president, his wife at his side, but they were brought into the tableau of events for the first time by the medium of television so that the news was immediate and they saw it all as if they were right in Dallas at the time. It was a great tragedy that was burned into the public consciousness unlike anything before because of TV. Earlier in the same day, fifty years ago today, two famous authors, both greatly read, admired, and celebrated in their time and still in the present, died less than seven hours before the president. Aldous Huxley and C.S. Lewis were giants, not merely magnificent writers but great thinkers and philosophers whose works have influenced others for decades. On that same day, fifty years ago today, following all three deaths of these great men and nearing evening, a new television show premiered in Britain on the BBC. Because of the day's events most people were fixated upon news channels and failed to watch the new show, so the premiere episode, the first part of a four-part serial, was rebroadcast the following week. This little program was Doctor Who, a show which at the time had an uncertain future but inevitably became a cultural institution, the longest-running science fiction program ever to appear on television, the first television show to have a female producer (starting with its first episode no less), a show that employed all genres (science fiction, fantasy, drama, comedy, tragedy, children's story, historical drama, horror, mystery, suspense thriller, and even westerns). Perhaps more important than any of that the show imagined a way to allow the central lead actor to 'change' into a new actor after a few years, thus allowing the show to continue and making changes that directly and indirectly kept the show fresh and new as it moved forward. The speeches, writings, and spoken words of Kennedy, Huxley, and Lewis are quoted and celebrated to this day, referenced by scholars and politicians as powerful notes to thought. Doctor Who has similarly been quoted - while not necessarily with the same seriousness and weight - and has new episodes being made to this day. The volume of tv show stories, books, audio dramas, graphic novels and comics, spin-off series, spin-off independent videos, web-based video and audio series, e-books, and more is a long, long list of media full of thousands of stories about the Doctor and his companions, and news stories continue to pour out in every available media to supplement the vast mythology that encompasses all of Doctor Who. Today, on their respective fiftieth anniversaries, I celebrate three great men and their works, and I celebrate the one greatest television show ever and its rich history and many, many stories of hope in the face of deepest adversity. Today I celebrate the dreamers and their dreams ... for dreams do live on, they do inspire, they do transform the world, and they do give us hope ... often when it seems as though hope is simply not at all possible. I celebrate the best of what humanity can be ... often despite being told an idea is just a dream and can never come true - because dreams can come true ... so long as you truly believe. Posted at 8:29 AM
People are odd. Posted at 7:58 AM
The woman and her realtor who were supposed to look through the house yesterday morning are actually suppose to come through this morning. Our realtor gave us the wrong day, thus leaving me having wasted all of yesterday morning in frustration and waiting and takes up a good chunk of this morning now as well. Worse still, this is the woman who is coming through for her second time and has expressed interest in putting in an offer, so my anxiety - which was bad enough waiting for her to come through yesterday - has continued unabated through until now (and may never let up, honestly, even if we for some reason wouldn't ever hear back from her since the 'sometime in the future' sale of the house has forever now been made into the 'imminent and near-immediate sale of the house.' And just so I can't do much of anything else, just like a couple came through the house last night before dinner, another realtor and potential buyer are supposed to go through this evening as well, meaning everything has to be clean and just right and I have to be here waiting most of the morning (maybe more depending upon whether they're on time or not) and a good chunk of the afternoon, with only a brief window in between. Fun times. Fun times. Posted at 7:54 AM
My mom left in the early hours this morning, headed for Maryland and a short visit to see my sister, brother-in-law, and niece. Her visit here was equally short but busy as we tried to sort through all of the items in room after room to list who would like each of the pieces of furniture or nick-naks or photos or whatever and which would go up for sale. It's a large undertaking, and while we got a lot done on Sunday we ran into problems Monday and Tuesday when completely unexpected things wasted hours upon hours each of those days, taking away time from going through the house. We got a lot done, but there's still much to do. I had no illusions that we might get even close to getting everything done during this trip, but I did think we'd get farther than we ended up. When the house sells it would e nice to have all of this sorted since there will be a whirlwind of activity all rushed into a one-month period, and simultaneous with clearing out the collected belongings of my grandmother's lifetime, I will be having to sort, pack, and ship my own things to ... somewhere ... (who knows where, really) and make some sort of arrangements to hopefully not end up living in an alleyway. Yea! Fun times ... Anyhow, around everything else my mom and I talked quite a bit during the visit. It was nice to visit with her and talk, but it was also upsetting. Whenever I discussed my financial problems or my worries about finding a place to live or my troubles getting a job and the worries and outright fears of those things, she was very dismissive and changed the subject. I have faced this for a while but no so abruptly as during this visit, and I don't know if this is because she doesn't want to deal with it or even think about it, that she doesn't see it as her problem and doesn't want to think about it, or if she just doesn't care and doesn't want to hear about it. It's not like I have ever asked her for solutions or help in any of these problems, but I had hoped (as I have so many times in the past) just to be able to express my fears and worries to my mother and have her comfort me. Sadly, as I so often do, I failed to keep in mind that that isn't the kind of mother I have. So that aspect of things was disappointing. There are two showings of the house today and once tomorrow, and the first today is for a woman who saw the house previously, had her realtor come back to take measurements to rearrange the kitchen, and has expressed a clear interest in purchasing the house, so my homelessness may be quite imminent. This shakes me up like I can't fully convey in words, but there's nothing I can do about it ... and apparently there's also nobody I can talk to about it either. Posted at 8:30 AM
Who would have guessed that the sizes listed on furnace filters (i.e., 16" x 25" x 1") are not the actual sizes of those filters? And even if you knew that, just like you know 2 x 4 lumber boards aren't really 2" x 4", why would you have to struggle with the fact that the furnace filter you needed was not only the size listed but not the size available in the stores either, despite the number markings at various points on its surface? My mom and I, around other things we did during the day, wasted 2-3 hours with back-and-forth driving to purchase and then return filters from Home Depot, then Lowe's, then call our furnace company to pick up filters from them only to then find they didn't have any of that size in stock. This sort of stupid waste of time, based on a nonsensical human-made thing that surely has been a problem for more than just us ... this sort of thing drives me nuts. What possible reason is there to not list the exact, actual size only on each filter? Posted at 8:06 AM
My mom was here Saturday after I returned from the movie I saw at the library (that I talked about yesterday), and we've been busy since she arrived. Saturday we mostly talked, caught up on things, discussed mail and plans for her visit, and settled her in. Yesterday we went through room after room and sorted through everything, making lists for who gets what or what's to be sold, all in preparation for whenever the house is sold and needs to be cleared out. We got through most of the first floor, but we still have the kitchen (the worst, likely most time-consuming area) and the buffet contents. Then it's to the basement (which will have its own ups and downs but shouldn't be too horrible. My mom leaves Wednesday morning and she's spending the late afternoon and evening today with one of her friends, so we will not get everything done in this trip - - but we'll be close. That helps in a sense, I suppose, even though the sale of the house still has me panicky, even though there hasn't yet ben any offer. And this is only my grandma's stuff (now my mom's) that we're going through. When the house sells I'll have all of my own stuff to sort and pack and figure out what can be done. That's even worse since there are no easy or even practical solutions to those questions. Sooner or later I'll have to deal with that too, however. Posted at 9:49 AM
The Sandusky Library had another free movie yesterday (which they offer about once each month), and I saw Epic for the first time. It had excellent computer animation and a wonderful story and background, but I was surprised to learn that it was based on a story by William Joyce and he was involved in the movie as well. Joyce is a wonder to me, having written the series of books The Guardians of Childhood and creating them into last year's Rise of the Guardians movie, and he also was the writer of the books and partial-developer of the wonderful George Shrinks animated series that I used to watch on PBS a dozen years ago. He has written, directed, or somehow been involved with all sorts of the best of animation over the past couple decades. All of his works are incredibly imaginative and full of celebrating children and how amazing they are and can be. He is a fine writer, but I've learned (slowly) that he is also clearly a brilliant promoter to be able to get so many of his works not only published but then developed as well. I can't wait to read and see more from him! Posted at 8:10 AM
Yesterday I visited the Games Workshop store on the east side of Cleveland as a bit of job research. I've applied for a store manager position outside of Chicago and had a brief phone interview a few hours before I was driving to Cleveland to check out the store. I have a follow-up, more in-depth phone interview Monday that will allow me to have observed and researched the company to ask and answer more detailed questions. I expect that if I do well in this next interview then I will have a face-to-face interview sometime thereafter. I'm actually quite excited about the possibilities. Games Workshop is a long-standing and respected name in the gaming community, and I've been familiar with their games for over thirty years. A number of their games that I really enjoyed are out of print, but they have kept focus on their most popular lines, Warhammer, Warhammer 40K, and Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit - all wargaming lines where you collect and paint armies of miniature figures, tactically arrange them on a field of battle, and then (using various rules) engage opposing forces in battle to achieve the objective (capture the flag, kill the leader, kill everybody, etc.). There are a vast array of miniatures for each line with many out of print and more always on the way, and there are books and supplements with background information on the worlds involved and their histories. There is also a library of fiction novels available that expand the stories beyond reference material. The focus is upon the Games Workshop products and the hobby that revolves around them: collecting, painting, playing, sharing your ideas and skills and collections with others, etc. It is in many ways more like old-style gaming stores than the larger, less-of-a-community hobby stores which have driven out most of the independent (and chain) gaming stores, and it's nice to see a place where customers are people you recognize because they are there regularly - to buy but also to play or maybe work with someone to teach or learn new painting techniques. It's not exaggerating to say each store is in its own way a community center. The management of the store is drastically different than my management jobs of the past, but the differences are all positive. Whereas at Kinko's (and other places) you wanted, needed, and were expected to be on the floor interacting with customers forty or more hours a week you were also expected to do various banking and paperwork tasks which you were not allowed to delegate and which would take an expected twenty to thirty more hours a week. This was fine for the company since you were salaried, but it was difficult for any manager because there was always something drawing you away from the customers. At Games Workshop it appears the vast majority of that paperwork is covered automatically by a good POS system and inventory tracking - and since the store has minimal staffing there is no time spent dealing with scheduling or payroll or HR. That leaves all of your time to be completely focused on the customers and give them your full attention, developing strong connections and giving a level of service that honestly is very difficult to find anywhere in today's world. It's an emphasis on the customer that I have always felt is the key to any good business. Hopefully this will lead somewhere. This would be a good opportunity. Posted at 9:08 AM
Panic, desperation, fear, frustration, and hopelessness complement depression perfectly, but in all of the worst ways. Posted at 8:49 AM
A prequel was released last night for The Day of the Doctor, the 50th Anniversary Doctor Who special (that will also be in 3-D in movie theaters). Called The Night of the Doctor, it is an awesome connective link not only to what will be coming in the anniversary special but also a huge revelation into a part of the Doctor's past that has never been covered in video or audio and has been murky at best. To say it is a huge and wonderful piece of fan service is to minimize it. This opens up a huge area for new Doctor Who books and audio dramas that in the past was off bounds, and it's an area full of amazing storytelling potential. The future of Doctor Who is bright. Posted at 8:43 AM
The realtor called me yesterday afternoon, telling me that a woman who had been through about a month ago was very interested in the house, and she would be sending her own realtor over the next day (today) to take measurements of the refrigerator and see if there were a way to incorporate it better into the kitchen (the refrigerator is in a cubby in the entryway, just off the kitchen, because that's where the original icebox was located, conveniently near the door so the ice man could bring the ice for the icebox back in the day). The kitchen has never been modified to accommodate the refrigerator by my family partly because we liked keeping the charm a nd character of the original placement and partly because it would be sort of a pain in the ass - it wouldn't be impossible or require a complete overhaul of the kitchen to bring the refrigerator in, but it would require some remodeling and cost and just was never something we pursued. It must be said, however, that the placement of the refrigerator is something commented upon by everyone who views the house as a buyer, so most people aren't as comfortable with it as we have been. It may just be that our realtor is portraying the interested woman as more interested than she truly is in an effort to inspire confidence that he's doing well at selling the house, even if she wouldn't follow through, but I have a feeling it's more than bluster, and that feeling tells me there's a strong chance that woman will get a solution for the kitchen from her realtor and will then buy the house, leaving me homeless for Christmas. Joy. I've been looking for cheap apartments in Toledo (which seems the best location of my choices since: 1) Sandusky has no jobs and hasn't worked at all, 2) Chicago would be best but simply is beyond affordability without a paying job, 3) Columbus isn't as bad as Chicago but is also more expensive than I can cover, and 4) I still have a support network in Toledo even if it has shrunk considerably). Sadly there are almost no listings of non-complex apartments (meaning duplexes or such instead of commercial apartments), and the complexes are all priced higher than I'd rather pay. Honestly I can't afford anything without a job and money coming in, but I have enough set aside to cover a couple months and then hopefully have a job to keep covering things - although after a year and a half of fruitless job searching here I don't feel inspired. My friend Steve has offered to let me store my stuff and even stay in his building in East Toledo, but he has no heat and no water, and while he manages a survivalist existence there I don't know that I could make it through a cold Winter with no heat, and I'm reluctant to try (which probably shows you how unprepared I am to be a homeless person since this would be the least of my problems). So panic is filling me and I'm finding no solutions once again! Why oh why do I have to go through this crap when I'd honestly just rather be dead? This is just more evidence of the pointlessness and horror of living in this world we've created. Posted at 8:54 AM
There's been a blanket of snow since about dinner-time yesterday (which is now when it gets dark), and with the low temperatures expected today it may stay around. Here in Sandusky the snow melted on contact with pavement at least, so there's no need to shovel and no driving problems for people (Cleveland, just east of us, is another story). This was just the 11th of November, though. It's not unheard of to have snow this early in November, but for it not to all melt on contact IS extraordinarily rare. Usually we don't have a snow that sticks until nearly Christmas. This suggests this Winter may have lower-than-normal temperatures (since we've already been seeing lower-than-normal temps all Fall), and it may mean more snow than usual (although usually exceptionally low temperatures usually means less snow in total, so we'll have to see what happens). Either a colder -than-normal Winter or more snow than a normal Winter would be bad enough. Both would truly suck. I love seeing all of the seasons in full change, and I even love Winter ... but it is possible for there to be too much of an extreme. Let's hope there's some sort of balance and things aren't going to be too bad. Posted at 8:38 AM
Yea! More disappointment! You'd think there'd be comfort in the familiar ... Posted at 8:12 AM
Why am I awake this early? If only there was a good reason ... Posted at 6:20 AM
When someone asks, "How are you?", if you respond "Doomy," it sounds much better than "Filled with doom." Posted at 8:39 AM
Does it come across as disrespectful and wrong to other people (other than me) when someone calls some guy's genitals "junk"? To me it comes across sounding even worse than calling all women "hoes" or their breasts a "rack". Posted at 8:06 AM
'Tis a dark, gloomy day, cold and soon to rain. Seems about right. Posted at 7:27 AM
Make no predictions about the present or the future and you'll invariably come out better off and almost surely more sane. Posted at 7:27 AM
Today is a good day for a lobotomy. Posted at 8:43 AM
I spent the past two days cleaning the inside of the house from top to bottom, and I managed to get it all done! I had been cleaning more often because of showing the house to potential buyers for a while, but the last few times I had really just sort of 'touched up' more obvious areas rather than really, properly cleaning, and the fact that there hasn't been a showing in over two weeks on top of that means it was time. Now the house is nice and sparkly clean for me; it's ready for any potential buyers who might be brought through; and it's ready for a visit from my mother and/or my sister if and when they decide when or if they're coming (which has become as confusing as it sounds, even though for the past month-and-a-half I had been lead to believe they would both be here the weekend after next and my mom would stay a bit longer than just the weekend. Now? Who knows ...). So that's done. Now if I could just win the lottery ... Posted at 8:29 AM
Posted at 9:18 AM
Well, another show I like has been ruined. I suppose I should be happy I had a full two seasons of Grimm before it was twisted in ways to "make it more dramatic" and "appeal to a wider audience" - which it already was as a supernatural cop show with a fairly unwitting protagonist. But as usual the powers-that-be in television development decided there needed to be more intrigue, more plot confusion, more switching around through a whole bunch of different characters in a whole bunch of different areas (and parts of the world), and trying to make the good guys be the bad guys and the bad guys be the good guys. Really, folks, this might have been interesting the first time it was done, but it's just frustrating now, and it honestly ends up killing most shows or at least cuts down their viewing numbers (the opposite of what they were shooting for by making all of the changes in the first place). It's bad enough I can predict just about every plot and plot-change in just about every show, and it's frightening that I can even predict a lot of dialogue during a show, but this inability to continue to play to a show's strengths - what made it popular - and make drastic changes such that it has people actually hating it ... I can't imagine why I'm here jobless in Ohio and hundreds - thousands - of people are working as writers in California. Posted at 10:10 AM
Another month bites the dust. Posted at 8:21 AM
Journal, by Paul Cales, © November 2013
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November 30, 2013
