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March 2014

 

bullet March 31, 2014

Out like a lamb?

Posted at 7:54 AM
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bullet March 30, 2014

These days at the office get more and more weird. People are very strange and very random. I think more and more that being a hermit wouldn't be all that bad.

Posted at 7:40 AM
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bullet March 29, 2014

Shit be crazy, yo?

Posted at 7:52 AM
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bullet March 28, 2014

It is what it is what it is.

Posted at 7:07 AM
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bullet March 27, 2014

I'm tired. Physically tired; tired of my job; tired of the problems where I live; tired of the cruelty and stupidity of people; tired of life and living.

I'm so incredibly tired.

Posted at 7:44 AM
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bullet March 26, 2014

The end can't come soon enough.

Posted at 7:28 AM
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bullet March 25, 2014

Three weeks until the end of tax season and counting. W00t!

Posted at 7:03 AM
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bullet March 24, 2014

I have had more trouble receiving mail and packages at this apartment in the less than three months that I have been here than I've had receiving mail and packages throughout my entire lifetime.

Just more of the grand fun provided to you by LIFE: the Slow, Painful Killer.

Posted at 7:20 AM
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bullet March 23, 2014

Tired. VEry tired. And the day is full of laundry to be cleaned and ironed, , lunches to be made for all of next week, any bit of cleaning possible to be done, and of course work, who can forget that ... It's all just never-ending ...

Posted at 7:02 AM
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bullet March 22, 2014

Yep. Still alive. Still miserable. Life continues as usual, horribly.

Posted at 7:29 AM
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bullet March 21, 2014

I want a nice meal ... somehow.

Posted at 7:52 AM
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bullet March 20, 2014

... 'splody head again ...

Posted at 7:13 AM
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bullet March 19, 2014

Hurrah. Woot. Wow.

I hate birthdays.

Posted at 6:54 AM
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bullet March 18, 2014

It took six and a half weeks but I finally have a paycheck. Now I just need to be able to get it deposited around my work hours (which cover all banking hours).

In other news, I still hate my life and hope Death will turn up soon. This shit is pointless and miserable. Do me a favor - kill me now.

Posted at 7:29 AM
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bullet March 17, 2014

I could do with the Luck of the Irish right about now.

Posted at 7:28 AM
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bullet March 16, 2014

Now at six week without pay. This is clearly so much better than when I was caring for my grandmother or looking for work after she passed away because I'm somehow now a more productive member of society, I'm led to believe. It's a shame that, just like caring for my grandma and looking for work, this is apparently not a paying gig.

Posted at 8:06 AM
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bullet March 15, 2014

Fuck it all.

Posted at 7:13 AM
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bullet March 14, 2014

If the board game 'The Game of LIFE" were more true-to-life it would be much more like Jumanji.

Posted at 7:34 AM
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bullet March 13, 2014

So yesterday I dug out the car, struggled to get the car out of the lot fill of 10"+ deep snow (unplowed) and slide my way to work where the parking lot there also wasn't plowed. I somehow made my way in, and while waiting for Steve to show up and open the doors, I heard on the radio that the authorities had declared a Level 3 Snow Emergency which means nobody should be out driving. I called Ron about it, then waited for STeve to arrive as Ron ruqu=ested, then on conference call with Steve in my car a little later we talked to Ron and decided to call it a day - at least until Noon to see if things changed.

Steve decided to stay for a while since he was there and all, and we talked in the car for a while before I decided I should go before it got too much worse. That was prophetic as I got stuck trying to get out of the driveway at work and would have been unmovable had Steve not aided me with a strong push after I shoveled out around and in front of my tires.

I did make it out of the parking lot and back to the apartment complex, but the lots were still unplowed and I got stuck in the lot a dozen times or more, each time digging out before and behind me and making some progress before getting stuck again. This took a half hour and a lot of swearing, but I finally managed to get parked.

The weather got much worse before it got better much later, and we never did go into the office, so once again I lost twelve hours of pay due to the weather, and we'll be running around like crazy for the next few days while we try to accommodate the people who had their appointments cancelled. Yea.

You'd think it would be nice to have the day off, but I couldn't get out and do any of the errands I've had to put off because it's illegal to be on the roads in a Level 3 and because nobody is at work anywhere due to the Level 3. I would have liked to have caught up on some of the many TV shows I've missed during my long work days, but as usual my Internet service was shit and watching 'streaming videos' was impossible (I put 'streaming video' in quotes because really it has no meaning on my computer with this unbelievably slow Internet service coming form shit hole Buckeye Cablesystem. The person in the world with the most pronounced and struggled stutter would be infinitely better at offering a smooth conversation than my crappy Internet provider.

So with streaming not out but driving me insane, and without being able to earn money, and without being able to run errands, I hoped to catch up on reading some online stories, but the ones I wanted to read hadn't updated like they usually do on Wednesdays. Hell, I couldn't even watch TV until the end of the day because it was all simply horrible daytime TV crap and I simply couldn't stand it. And while my mailbox was finally replaced the night before last, I couldn't go to the Post Office yesterday to pick up my held mail and stop it from being held any longer - so I didn't even have mail to go through, little though there'd be.

So instead I got incredibly frustrated with the Internet service and went somewhat insane. I can't even enjoy a snow day because of all of the bullshit in my life. How fucked up is this world?

Posted at 7:07 AM
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bullet March 12, 2014

So .... yeah ... how about that fifty degree weather yesterday? And how about that snow overnight through today building up ten more inches of nastiness?

Winter will not be forgotten.

Posted at 7:07 AM
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bullet March 11, 2014

... and now our next most experienced tax preparer after ROn (and the only person who isn't new this season) is out due to medical problems for an indeterminate period. That now leave just Ron and me to prepare taxes for the whole office and all of the scheduled people, and Ron has to do a million other things as well.

Yea.

Posted at 7:29 AM
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bullet March 10, 2014

I've learned the secret!!

It never actually gets better. It just gets worse and then it seems to get better but it's just actually going back to where you were to start with. The most you can hope for is not worse. Yep; that seems about right.

Posted at 7:43 AM
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bullet March 9, 2014

Now passing five full weeks without pay. It's a good thing I have a job or I'd be in big financial trouble, right?

Posted at 8:28 AM
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bullet March 8, 2014

I have never seen a business with more self-inflicted problems, more denial of any and all of those problems, and more contemptible outright lies to its customers and its employees. Welcome to America.

Posted at 7:58 AM
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bullet March 7, 2014

Twenty years ago today the most perfect guy died after a head-on collision with a drunk driver. He had left less than a day earlier from visiting me and leaving after a brief argument which was because I was an idiot - missing him and wanting him to move in with me or closer to me and not appreciating how happy he was after his move to Atlanta.

Ken Rice was a dear friend, a trusted confidant, and the greatest love I ever knew. He was taken from this world at a young age, just when many things in his life were turning around and making his life better, and his death affected so many people so deeply it can truly not be understood unless you had been close to him. I miss him every day and the loss of him from my life has profoundly changed me.

I miss Ken now as much as ever, and the pain of never being able to see him again slices through me each time I think of him. Ken was the rare individual - unique perhaps - who made life worth suffering through for me, even when I wasn't as close to him as I always wanted and once had been. Without Ken the world is its miserable, horrible full dose of reality every minute of every day, and there is little to nothing redeeming in what remains.

Posted at 7:33 AM
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bullet March 6, 2014

Why do people want to be alive when their fellow human beings are such horrible, horrible people and surround them in all that they can and will do?

Posted at 7:27 AM
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bullet March 5, 2014

Rubber baby buggy bumpers.

Posted at 7:13 AM
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bullet March 4, 2014

I didn't go to work yesterday - seeing as breakfast, a hot shower, and migraine aspirin did nothing to make me in the least bit better by the time I needed to leave. Staying in the apartment in other circumstances might have been a nice change, but while this was indeed a change it wasn't really nice. The headache raged through the day and while lying down helped, you just can't lie down all day and be comfortable.

I fell asleep early - which under the circumstances should have been a good thing - but I woke up a few minutes before four A.M. and couldn't get back to sleep. I wanted to; I was tired, and I lay quietly until I gave up a bit after six, but I clearly wasn't going to get any more sleep, and as a result I got an hour or two less sleep than I want and need (which seems evident this morning as I'm still tired).

I'm back to work this morning with a much less severe headache, being a little tired, and feeling (rightly so) like I'm jumping back into the fire. A day away from work would have been a good way to clear my head - if my head hadn't been filled with pain instead. So I'm back to the insanity with no break for another month and a half. Wheee.

Posted at 7:36 AM
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bullet March 3, 2014

... and today a crippling headache that is not only painful but screwing up my balance. Standing at all is much worse than laying down (although my head still throbs either way). I should call off from work today but I can still function and I need the money so I'll just have to suffer I suppose. If this gets any worse I'll have to come back to the apartment, although how I would drive back to accomplish that is a mystery to me because if this gets any worse I won't be able to do much of anything.

Posted at 7:43 AM
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bullet March 2, 2014

... and now my Buckeye Cablesystem e.mails (and any other outgoing e.mails since I use Buckeye's portal) are non-functioning. Great job, Buckeye Cablesystem, I can't imagine how you could fuck somebody over more without having complete shut-down of service. Why the hell am I paying even a cent for this?

Posted at 8:25 AM
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bullet March 1, 2014

In like a lion?

Posted at 7:39 AM

 


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Journal, by Paul Cales, © March 2014