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Bring Back My Innocence

so much lost when innocence is gone,
a tragedy of staggering sadness
never able to go back, never able to capture that simplicity,
that wonder, that trust … hope, love, fearlessness, acceptance, passion
all gone - lost in a moment
stripped away like a casual scrape on the knee that only gets noticed late in the day -
not painful, not visibly harmful, but unable to heal before the day is done.

bring back my innocence;
I don't want to see anymore.
let me go back and bury myself in that comfortable blanket,
away from lies and hurt, fear and loneliness,
away from the monotony and cynicism.
wrap me up in my innocence.
I need that security more than ever.

let me hide in my innocence,
wrapped around my body, pulled over my head,
shielding me from the world beyond -
as long as I can't see it, it doesn't exist.
let me have back my innocence.
I'll never give it up again.

run with me out into the field,
rolling in the tall grass, tumbling down the hill,
breathing in the soft smell of wildflowers,
seeing dancing figures in the clouds above.
run with me through the house that still feels safe, still feels like home,
a place where no one could ever hurt me.

come with me back to that time and save me from the loss of my innocence.
wrap me up in that blanket like the arms that should have held me long ago -
arms that should have been comfortable and safe,
arms that should have soothed and calmed,
not pawed and groped.

take me back to that time of innocence.
take me back to a simpler time, that last time I really felt alive.
take me back - return my life -
replace my heart.
my innocence is gone,
and I cringe with each breath.
bring back my innocence, my soul.


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Bring Back My Innocence, by Paul Cales, © November 2001