home | archives | bio | stories | poetry | links | guestbook | message board
previous | archives index | next

February 2015

 

bullet February 28, 2015

SO headachy ...

Posted at 6:21 AM
divider

 

bullet February 27, 2015

Haters gonna hate. Bitches gonna bitch. Shits gonna stink.

Posted at 6:50 AM
divider

 

bullet February 26, 2015

This is a horrible, horrible existence.

Posted at 7:40 AM
divider

 

bullet February 25, 2015

Why am I burning myself out for that shithole?

Posted at 7:32 AM
divider

 

bullet February 24, 2015

More drama hath no theatre ever seen.

Posted at 6:13 AM
divider

 

bullet February 23, 2015

Hey, I don't have a baby-sitter - let's take my screaming two-year-old to the tax office where I work and let him run a round screaming and creating havoc while I just sit around. Wheee!

Seriously, if I did that kind of shit I'd not only be embarrassed and see myself as an unfit parent but I'd get fired. Anybody else, though - no problem.

Posted at 7:14 AM
divider

 

bullet February 22, 2015

At least the clients realize how much more organized and planned things are at work. That half makes up for all of the effort.

Posted at 6:24 AM
divider

 

bullet February 21, 2015

Tired and hating everything. Lucky me.

Posted at 6:39 AM
divider

 

bullet February 20, 2015

The ending episode of Two and a Half Men almost makes up for the last four years ... almost.

Posted at 7:32 AM
divider

 

bullet February 19, 2015

What's there to say when all I encounter is pain and depression and disappointment? You've surely heard it all by now - from me if no one else.

Posted at 7:24 AM
divider

 

bullet February 18, 2015

So tired. I need much sleep in time me do. Sleeeeep.

Posted at 7:05 AM
divider

 

bullet February 17, 2015

Is it over yet?

Posted at 6:41 AM
divider

 

bullet February 16, 2015

All my life is pain.

Posted at 7:41 AM
divider

 

bullet February 15, 2015

This is hardly any kind of weekend.

Posted at 7:32 AM
divider

 

bullet February 14, 2015

The St. Valentine's Day Massacre was a walk in the park compared to the endless emptiness of having lost the love of your life and never seeing them again. Valentine's Day is just a reminder of how much you have lost.

Posted at 7:27 AM
divider

 

bullet February 13, 2015

Friday the 13th, with tomorrow being Valentine's Day. Seems ominous to me ...

Posted at 7:26 AM
divider

 

bullet February 12, 2015

... and more blood ... again! And it just won't stop.

The fun never ends.

Posted at 6:32 AM
divider

 

bullet February 11, 2015

If I could just do my job - multi-faceted as it is - without the patronizing, demeaning, and blind comments from the owner then I would have a good job doing good things for the clients, my fellow co-workers, the business, and the bottom line. Instead I have chaos, stress, and hatred of this place.

Posted at 6:59 AM
divider

 

bullet February 10, 2015

Blood everywhere the night before last. Blood everywhere yesterday evening. More blood today. Do I have this much in me?

Posted at 6:48 AM
divider

 

bullet February 9, 2015

When does it start getting good?

Posted at 7:31 AM
divider

bullet February 8, 2015

Can I keep up this pace at work? Do I want to?

No.

Posted at 7:55 AM
divider

 

bullet February 7, 2015

This job stinks.

Posted at 7:20 AM
divider

 

bullet February 6, 2015

Will I run behind all day today like I did yesterday? A little consultation with the Magic 8-Ball tells me, "All signs say Yes."

Posted at 7:25 AM
divider

 

bullet February 5, 2015

A perfect and true quote from the recent episode of Person of Interest:

"I want to hold out hope - but hope is painful."

Posted at 6:56 AM
divider

 

bullet February 4, 2015

To die would be a great adventure ... and almost surely a long overdue vacation.

Posted at 7:30 AM
divider

 

bullet February 3, 2015

As it turns out I didn't have to go to work yesterday morning as I'd expected when I wrote my last Journal entry (due to the Level 3 Snow Emergency), but I did go in during the afternoon to do payroll - and that took me more than twice as long as it should have because my co-workers can't be troubled to fill in their time sheets, total them, or place them where they can be found. If I were the manager they just wouldn't have gotten paid. Believe me, one time not being paid because you didn't submit a time card and you don't do it again.

Because my co-workers were so thoughtful and cost me a great deal more time, the short half hour trip became more like an hour and a half and someone else had claimed the parking space I'd shoveled out for over an hour around my car (due to the 14" of snow over yesterday and last night). I got to drive into a not-shoveled -at-all space and trudge through with my groceries. Maybe the car will be stuck when I go out this morning and I won't be able to go into work. That would probably not happen because luck simply doesn't ever work in my favor.

So, refer to yesterday's Journal entry because it holds more true than ever. I have no idea why I go back. And I have no idea why I have to suffer in pain every day either. That just seems to be all I get. Ever.

Posted at 7:06 AM
divider

 

bullet February 2, 2015

Would you choose to go to Hell if you had a choice? Would you choose to be stressed and pushed and rushed and over-taxed and exhausted and put in pain? Would you go there knowing you would be taunted, hated, lied to, blamed for all the woes of the world (or at least everything in sight), and treated as a despicable being worth less than pond scum? Would you go forward into Hell knowing that?

I wouldn't think I would either if I had any choice. Yet I find myself once again doing exactly that, going to my abusive, fucked up place of employment, knowing how I'll be treated and what it will do to me ... and I don't understand why I keep going back.

Posted at 7:10 AM
divider

 

bullet February 1, 2015

I hate all of this.

Posted at 7:44 AM

 


previous | archives index | next
home | archives | bio | stories | poetry | links | guestbook | message board

Journal, by Paul Cales, © February 2015