Journal Archives from theDreamworld ... February 2007

February 2007

February 28, 2007

Mares eat oats
and does eat oats
and little lambs eat ivy.

Posted at 9:17 PM

February 27, 2007

A note to the terrorists:

Blowing up Cheney would have been quite impressive, but you' ve hardly really tried. Come on, do you really think that one suicide bomber at the door would even cause a bruise to Cheney with his levels of safe-guarding? Just wishing him dead won't work, you know. And you really just look foolish and ineffective when you claim that such a measly effort was meant to kill him, and that boggles the mind when the evidence in Iraq and Afghanistan suggests that you're in fact quite a complex, devious, and unrelenting foe.

Besides, clearly the best way to take out Cheney is to join him on a hunting expedition and shoot him in the face. Heck, you might not even have to talk to the police! (at least that's how it worked for the big Dick)

Posted at 11:02 PM

February 26, 2007

My bees!

Posted at 1:39 AM

February 25, 2007

I was back to Perrysburg today, first to have lunch and a chat with Steve and then to get together with Steffen, Steve, Mark, and Dakoda at Steffen's to chat and joke and eat dinner around some simple gaming. To be honest things were sort of boring for the first half of the evening, and Dakoda and Mark and I have been feeling like this for the past few get-togethers and hoping for something more interesting. It all came to a head after a while, and there was a stupid argument about the whole issue of what we expected and whether we had a right or not to be bored or to grouse about it. Clearly there were two diametrically opposed schools of thought here, and I knew up front that neither side was going to change their minds. Fortunately the conflict was cut short and we moved on, but nothing was resolved and I have a bad feeling that we'll be revisiting this debate more than a few times yet in the future. Ironically things got more interesting and fun during the later half of the evening, exactly like the kind of thing half of us had been pushing for. In fact I feel like we all left quite satisfied with how things had ended up, but I can't shake my concern that this argument will haunt us for a while.

As much as I love getting together with these guys and socializing, I dread it far too often for my tastes. If I had any other social outlet I would very likely stop going all together because the stress of these stupid arguments is not something I want or need, and rather than suffer through it the easiest thing would simply be to walk away. The fact that this is my only social activity at all makes that a less easy decision because I have little doubt that having absolutely no socializing would be worse for me than the occasional but upsetting argument. And with as stressed as my grandmother gets me during the course of any given week I really need a place to unwind away from her and relax - so I really need these guys. I just hate that these flare-ups have to keep coming up, regardless of how much it seems like one or the other of us has tried to resolve whatever issue is facing us. As usual I'll keep going for now, but if the time comes when the stress overcomes the benefits from all of this, I'll have to stop going, and I'll just have to find some other social outlet, although I can say that doing so will be beyond difficult. I've never easily move into new social situations, and as I've gotten older it's become even harder since opportunities are much more limited. But I guess I won't worry about that for now. I'll just hope that things smooth out and stay relaxed for a while. We'll just see.

Posted at 1:36 AM

February 24, 2007

Mmmmm ... gooey chocolate chip cookie ...

(I wish).

Posted at 7:15 PM

February 23, 2007

Seeing young, sinewy male bodies is perhaps helping me mentally in some ways but certainly hurting me in others. You have to love being able to stare and admire and revel in the beauty of it all, but the angst of not being able to touch or taste or really know that living fantasy is the ultimate torture. As is so often true, pain is so close to pleasure.

Posted at 2:29 AM

February 15, 2007

There is no justice

Posted at 12:40 AM

February 21, 2007

I don't know how much will power I have left. At least another three months worth would help, but that seems like forever after just three weeks.

Have I lost you yet? Well don't feel bad. I'll fill you in in due time. Just give me another couple weeks or so to see if I can keep things going. Then I'll write about it.

Posted at 11:47 PM

February 20, 2007

The new attack mantra of religious conservatives, that they are suffering religious persecution and bigotry at the hands of their "enemies" has been driving me crazy. It is duplicitous and completely disingenuous, but it is a new approach that, sadly, has to some extent worked. While I despise this sort of activity I have hesitated to go off on religious conservatives that use this ploy because I know that some people would sympathize with them and label me anti-religion and bigoted in my own way. Let me make clear that I believe each person should have the right to their own opinion, but that stops at the tip of their tongue - just because someone should have every right to believe what they want does not give them the right to force that opinion on others, nor does it mean that they can claim people are bigots simply because they rebel against demeaning treatment.

The whole issue is written a bit more clearly and also much less apologetically at Pandagon, and I think the essay speaks true and clear. Here it is:

Bigotry, Thy Name Is Fundamentalist

So there are still people yelping and bleating over the supposed anti-Christian bigotry espoused by liberals–and by anti-Christian bigotry, I mean the promotion of civil and human rights for LBGT people, women, the poor, religious minorities, atheists and agnostics, and people of color. One cannot object to ignorant rhetoric and laws that would codify and further institutionalize bigotry and discrimination, you see, as that is anti-Christian.

Well, sorry. You don’t get to whine about how you’re oppressed when you make up the majority of people in this country. You don’t get to bleat about your special snowflake status when the freaking President is a born-again, evangelical Christian. You don’t get to cry and whine about anti-Christian bigotry when you push for legislation that discriminates against gays, that subjugates women, that marginalizes other religions (and those without religion), that interferes with our educational system, and that promotes human rights violations in the name of anti-terrorist paranoia.

No. You don’t.

You don’t get special snowflake status when you hide behind religion as an excuse to deny women contraception, deride and mock religious minorities, spread hatred and vitriol about the LBGT community, and try to codify law to fit with Christianity’s view of the world.

Talk that kind of trash, and don’t expect flowers and candy in return. That’s all I’m saying. Dish it out. learn to take it, and stop your bleating. It’s pathetic. You don’t get to call people in the LBGT community “evil” and “perverted” and not be called out for being hateful. You don’t get to call women who use contraception or who get abortions murderers and selfish and not be called out for being hateful. You don’t get to use fake pregnancy crisis centers to browbeat women into having babies they don’t want and not get regarded as bullies. You don’t get to sniff about the brown-skinned terrorists and not get called to account. You don’t get to blather on about how unbelievers are going to hell, and how Jews control Hollywood, and not get criticized for it. You don’t get to push for discriminatory legislation and be free from criticism.

I do not care if the Bible says it’s bad. Not everyone believes in the Bible. Not everyone wants to follow your rules. You’d be the first ones screeching if Sharia law was introduced here–so why are you so insistent on trying to introduce a Christian version of it? And when you say that it’s because the Bible says it’s bad, see the first part of the paragraph. Not everyone here believes. Not everyone here wants to follow your rules.

You have no right, no right at all to force them on us. If you’re going to try that, and if you’re going to spew some vicious bigoted dreck about the people you’ve deemed as dirty and bad, don’t go crying when you’re taken to account. That’s not anti-Christian bigotry. That’s life. Deal with it.

Posted at 9:50 PM

February 19, 2007

It's President's Day, and all I can think is that all of the past presidents of the United States would be appalled and disgusted with what the current president has done and is doing to the world, our country, and the American people. Some of them, of course, would be pleased to know that there were worse presidents than themselves, but even they would surely despise Emperor Bush's actions.

Posted at 10:07 PM

February 18, 2007

I got together with Steve for lunch today in Perrysburg, and we talked for a few hours before heading over to Steffen's house to meet up with Steffen, Mark, and Mark's step-son Dakoda, who has been joining us for the last few weeks. We had a good time today, all of us, and I can say that from my own perspective I feel really good about today, without a hint of depression.

Usually I'd be careful about jinxing something like my emergence from depression by saying something like that, but I've felt really quite good the past week or two, and rather than swinging into the more manic side of my bipolar self I've found myself simply content and sometimes even happy and energetic with good feelings. I'd almost forgotten what it feels like to be this way, and I can't deny that I like it a lot.

After seven years is it possible that I'm finally emerging from the darkness? That may be too much to hope for, I'm afraid, so for now I'm just going to take this one day at a time and enjoy every minute of it. I just hope it lasts and lasts. Swinging back into my depression after seeing the light again would really be rough. But then again I don't think there was any time during my depression that hasn't really been rough, so perhaps that all goes without saying anyhow. Regardless, here's to better, happier days - and their long continuation.

Posted at 3:32 AM

February 17, 2007

I miss Chicago.

Posted at 10:35 PM

February 16, 2007

I played a large part of the day as a game day and just played Civilization III for hours. I love that game to death, but I must admit that I truly enjoy exploring, building new cities, and improving those cities. The fact that you pretty much have to involve yourself in warfare (at least if you want a high score) is disappointing. The options for diplomacy are really just sadly thin and unworkable. Still, I always enjoy Civ, and any single game can take me a week (or two) of days, often spread out over a couple months. So today was a nice recreational break, even while I did household chores and some planning, too.

Posted at 11:34 PM

February 15, 2007

There is no justice.

These damn people should have gotten life behind bars or at least a hell of a lot more than two years. Apparently its completely okay to abuse and torture nearly a dozen children in your care and still remain unrepentant, because heck, even people who get caught smoking pot get longer sentences than this. It's complete bullshit.

Couple That Caged Kids Gets Two Year Sentence

NORWALK, Ohio (AP) -- A couple who forced some of their 11 adopted, special-needs children to sleep in wire-and-wood cages were sentenced to two years in prison Thursday.

Michael and Sharen Gravelle insisted that they were only trying to keep their kids safe.

Two of the children, however, said in statements read in court that they were treated harshly while they lived with the Gravelles. (Watch parents plead for leniency )

One child wrote that they should be imprisoned "for as long as my siblings had to be in cages."

Sharen Gravelle told the court the children were never confined as punishment but rather to protect them, including a child who wanted to jump out a second-floor window.

"Would you prefer that we let them jump? Either way, we'd be here. The difference is they're still alive," she said in a tearful, 26-minute statement.

Gravelle blamed social services officials for not helping her and her husband control the destructive behavior of some of the youngsters.

The children, who suffered from problems such as fetal alcohol syndrome and a disorder that involves eating nonfood items, ranged in age from 1 to 14. They were removed from the Gravelle home in September 2005 and placed in foster care in the fall of 2005. The couple lost custody last March.

"Led by the Lord"

Sharen Gravelle kept her head down taking notes while the judge read the sentences. Michael Gravelle sat back in his chair, holding his face in his left hand.

Each could have received up to five years in prison for each of the four felonies they were convicted of in December. They also were convicted of seven misdemeanors.

Michael Gravelle, his face red and his voice rising, told the judge he and his wife "felt we were being led by the Lord" when they decided to bring the first child into their home.

He said problems began when they took in a group of siblings with an array of behavior and emotional problems.

"What do you do with these kids?" Michael Gravelle asked. "I prayed constantly for the answer."

He said the enclosures resulted from the suggestions of a social worker, who recommended strict rules to improve the children's behavior.

"I'm begging you," Michael Gravelle told the judge. "I do not deserve jail."

"Never again" in a cage

The two children whose statements were read in court, a girl and a boy, were in the courtroom Thursday. The boy wrote that he was "thankful that part of my life is behind me."

He said of his new foster parents, "Because of them I don't have to steal food. I can use the bathroom whenever I want. Never again will I have to sleep in a box."

The girl's statement said Sharen Gravelle treated the children more harshly than her husband did.

"Mom, you walked around like you were God, then whenever you did go places you were Mother Teresa taking in the poor black kids that no one wanted," she said.

The girl said the Gravelles "are grown adults who know the difference between right and wrong. So I ask that they get as much time in jail for as long as my siblings had to be in cages."

The Gravelles have said they will appeal their convictions. The judge allowed them to remain free on bond pending the appeal.

The couple has said they needed to keep some of the children in enclosed beds with alarms to protect them from their own dangerous behavior and stop them from wandering at night.

Prosecutors said the Gravelles were cruel.

Witnesses, including the sheriff and some of the children, said the cages were urine-stained and lacked pillows or mattresses, but a social worker and others who testified for the defense said they never witnessed abuse and that the children's behavior improved because of the bright blue and red cages.

One Gravelle child testified he was forced to live in a bathroom for 81 days, sleeping in a bathtub because of a bed-wetting problem.

The Gravelles' attorneys said the boy exaggerated the length of his bathroom stay, and an expert for the defense testified that the technique helped the boy.

Posted at 12:40 AM

February 14, 2007

I've come to a shocking realization: Pimps are land pirates.

You may ask yourself why I'm talking about pimps on Valentine's Day, but if that isn't self-apparent then I hold out no hope for your cynical skilz, and as far as pirates are concerned, I know for a fact that my friend Steffen's kids are giving out Pirates of the Caribbean Valentine's Day cards at elementary school today, so clearly I'm not the only person seeing pirates as the clear embodiment of the Valentine's message (and if you didn't get that then I hold out no hope for your sarcasm skilz).

Anyhow, back to what I was saying about pimps being landed pirates - it's quite clear, really. Just think of the key pirate phrases and how perfectly they relate to pimp speak:

"Yo ho!" as compared to "Yo, ho!"

"Your booty is mine!" as opposed to, well, "Your booty is mine!"

"Drink up, me hearties!" as opposed to "Drink up, my homies!"

It's pretty straightforward, really. Pirates and pimps both take what they want without regard to ownership rights or laws. They rape and plunder. They're feared by the average person and hated by the law. They dominate their area of control. They both know how to fight as well as party. They both often overuse alcohol and drugs. They're both usually thought of as dressing flamboyantly.

I have no idea why I didn't think of this earlier ...

Posted at 10:28 AM

February 13, 2007

Apparently all of the snow was lying in wait to start blowing in today. The high winds and the consistent snowfall are slowly but surely building up, already forming a thick, even blanket deeper than any snowfall yet (maybe deeper than all of this year's snowfalls yet). It's supposed to keep going all night and into tomorrow, and they are now officially calling it a blizzard, although that honestly seems a bit extreme, even with the total snowfall expected (6"-10"). I'll grant that the fierce wind, deep cold, and swirling snows have all of the aspects of a blizzard, but my experience with blizzards makes me expect them to be much more substantial. Of course I may be speaking too soon, and maybe I should just wait and see what things look like tomorrow.

Posted at 11:50 PM

February 12, 2007

Tired.

Must ... not ... fall asleep ... while ... typing ........

....

Posted at 12:30 AM

February 11, 2007

I wanted to post this a few days ago, but I forgot. I saw this on Andrew Sullivan's webblog. It's a copy of an e.mail Andrew received from one of the people who follow his posts, many of which in recent months have dabbled in his ideas of religious faith and unabashed doubt. The reason I wanted to post this is that this reader articulates my own position extraordinarily well. We're like-minded, I guess. Anyhow, here's the quote:

... trying to rationally describe the mystery of faith is like trying to unzip fog. In fact, when the expression of faith becomes codified in a liturgy it becomes leaden, earthbound, and encourages rote recitation. It dies a little. Nothing creeps me out like hearing the thoughtless, unfeeling droning of the Nicene Creed at Mass. Beautiful words, rendered dead. I did it myself without thinking for years, until I began to feel like some kind of body-snatched cultist. Like I said, I was once a pious little altar boy, but I no longer believe. But here's the thing: I find myself living in the limbo of not believing in God, but rather having a fervent belief in faith. I deeply envy faith. Funny world, huh? And no place in the world offers me the solace of a semi-darkened, stain-glassed cathedral, with statuary of saints and a hint of incense.

I was raised to believe that we must believe these things because they have inherent power and meaning, and that is why I eventually fell away, because my faith was too weak to stand up to the challenges of the rational world. What I now believe is the obverse: that because we believe in these things they take on a very real power and meaning. And no less powerful or meaningful than what I believed as a child.

Posted at 2:20 AM

February 10, 2007

Time moves too damn fast when you get older.

Posted at 11:43 PM

February 9, 2007

Construction has begun on a secure vault for millions of seeds as a bank to draw upon in cases of massive planetary catastrophe (the version of the article on Towleroad includes design sketches). It will also provide a single repository for researchers to consult in matters regarding hybridization. Even though it will be buried deep in an Arctic mountain, well above even the highest potential sea levels, the grand total cost will only come to $5 million.

While the idea itself is very intriguing and applaudable, the first thing that came to my mind is that such a plan as this, for the long-term protection of all of mankind, only costs $5 million bucks, yet Bush's unwarranted, catastrophic war in Iraq costs us literally billions of dollars a day. For one day's worth of Bush's war effort we could build thousands of seed banks like this, or at least some variety of proactive, beneficial, beneficent endeavor of similar sorts. It sickens me that an idiot like Bush can get away with wasting such opportunities and instead leads us headlong toward our destruction.

The world is a crazy place.

Work Starts on Arctic Seed Vault

LONDON, England (Reuters) -- Deep inside the Arctic Circle work is about to begin on a giant frozen Noah's Ark for food crops to provide a last bastion in the battle against global warming.

And within a year the first seeds of what will eventually be home for samples of all 1.5 million distinct varieties of agricultural crops worldwide will be tucked safely inside the vaults deep in a mountain on the archipelago of Svalbard.

There, at the end of a tunnel 120 meters into the side of a mountain, 80 meters above estimated sea levels even if all polar ice melts, and 18 degrees Celsius below freezing, they will stay like a bank security deposit.

"It will be the best freezer in the world by several orders of magnitude. The seeds will be safe there for decades," said Cary Fowler of the Food and Agricultural Organization's Global Crop Diversity Trust.

"Svalbard is a safety backup -- and we hope we never have to use it."

The Norwegian government is footing the $5 million construction bill and the Global Crop Diversity Trust is providing the estimated $125,000 a year running costs.

"We are going back to the older varieties because that is where you find the largest genetic diversity ... and diversity is protection," Fowler told Reuters in London.

Svalbard will not find and sort the seeds. That is being left to the various seed banks around the world in the front line of the battle to protect biodiversity.

The function of the Arctic Noah's Ark will be to hold samples of all the food crop varieties in case disaster strikes any of the banks -- like the typhoon that wiped out the Philippines agri crop gene bank in October.

It will also ensure a pristine source of research material for the world's botanists struggling to create crop varieties that will be able to withstand the massive changes in rainfall patterns and temperature that may come with global warming.

The scientists from around the world predict that global average temperatures will rise by between 1.8 and 4.0 degrees Celsius this century due to human activities, putting millions at risk from rising sea levels, floods, famines and storms.

"Current crops are adapted to the current climate. Start changing that and you change everything," Fowler said. "Plant breeders will have to be designing totally new varieties."

"We already have a water crisis with agriculture and climate change will make it worse. It is not a simply matter of migrating crops northwards. Everything changes -- sunlight, temperature, insects, diseases, pollinators," he added.

He said the Svalbard seed collection would not include modern hybrid varieties because by and large they had genetic diversity bred out of them.

But it would also not rule out genetically modified organisms on the simple grounds that it would be virtually impossible to screen them out and in any case they would never amount to more than a tiny fraction of the total.

The vaults on the remote archipelago 1,500 kilometers north of the Arctic Circle should have been dug and lined with meter-thick concrete by October ready for systems installation and a formal opening early in 2008.

Within two years they should be holding the vast majority of the world's food crop varieties in splendid, frozen and permanent isolation.

Posted at 11:54 PM

February 8, 2007

Damned, stupid life ...

Posted at 11:48 PM

February 7, 2007

This is sweet and depressing at the same time.

Prehistoric Lovers Found Locked In Eternal Embrace

ROME, Italy (AP) -- It could be humanity's oldest story of doomed love.

Archaeologists have unearthed two skeletons from the Neolithic period locked in a tender embrace and buried outside Mantua. The site is just 25 miles south of Verona, the romantic city where Shakespeare set the star-crossed tale of "Romeo and Juliet."

Buried between 5,000 and 6,000 years ago, the prehistoric pair are believed to have been a man and a woman and are thought to have died young, as their teeth were found intact, said Elena Menotti, the archaeologist who led the dig. (Watch archaeologists uncover the embracing couple )

"As far as we know, it's unique," Menotti told The Associated Press by telephone from Milan. "Double burials from the Neolithic are unheard of, and these are even hugging."

The burial site was located Monday during construction work for a factory building in the outskirts of Mantua. Alongside the couple, archaeologists found flint tools, including arrowheads and a knife, Menotti said.

Experts will now study the artifacts and the skeletons to determine the burial site's age and how old the two were when they died, she said.

Although the Mantua pair strike a rare and touching pose, archaeologists have found prehistoric burials in which the dead hold hands or have other contact, said Luca Bondioli, an anthropologist at Rome's National Prehistoric and Ethnographic Museum.

The find has "more of an emotional than a scientific value." But it does highlight how the relationship people have with each other and with death has not changed much from the period in which humanity first settled in villages, learning to farm the land and tame animals, he said.

"The Neolithic is a very formative period for our society," he said. "It was when the roots of our religious sentiment were formed."

The two bodies, which cuddle closely while facing each other on their sides, were probably buried at the same time, an indication of a possible sudden and tragic death, Bondioli said.

"It's rare for two young people to die at the same time, and that makes us want to know why and who they were, but it will be very difficult to find out."

He said DNA testing could determine whether the two were related, "but that still leaves other hypotheses; the Romeo and Juliet possibility is just one of many."

Posted at 12:32 AM

February 6, 2007

This "break" just isn't what it was cracked up to be.

Posted at 12:16 AM

February 5, 2007

My life is so boring. WHy do you read my boring crap anyhow?

Posted at 12:13 AM

February 4, 2007

If this proposed voter initiative is supposedly "over the top" then what does that say about the anti-gay marriage voter initiative that preceded and inspired it? Fucking hypocrites ...

Gay Rights Activists Introduce Initiative that Would Require Children in Marriages

KENNEWICK, Wash.- A new initiative is turning heads around the state as the gay-marriage debate heats up again.

Washington Secretary of State Sam Reed has accepted Iinitiative 957, a response by gay rights activists to a State Supreme Court ruling last summer.

The Washington Supreme Court ruled that the state could prevent gay and lesbian couples from marrying because the state has a legitimate interest in preserving marriage for procreation.

In response, the Washington Defense of Marriage Alliance filed the Initiative.

I-957 has five clauses that would have to be met for a legal marriage.

It would allow only couples capable of having kids to marry, and that they file "proof of procreation" within three years of the marriage. If not, the marriage would be annulled.

Many people think the law is over the top.

Leaders at a Kennewick church for homosexuals feel the same.

"There are many marriages that are not about having children. There are many couples who marry later in life, they marry for companionship, they marry because they want to create a family," said the Reverend Janet Pierce.

"They don't necessarily marry to have children," Pierce said.

I-957 would also force couples who married out of state to show the same proof of procreation or their marriage wouldn't be recognized, and it would become a criminal act for anyone in an unrecognized marriage to get marriage benefits.

To make it on the November ballot they need 224,800 signatures by July 6.

Posted at 10:22 PM

February 3, 2007

I was up before 7:30 AM this morning, and I'm still up at nearly 3 AM, all without any rest. Sorry folks, but my sleep-deprived, fried brain is not able to come up with any epiphanies, witticisms, or anecdotes today. Please tune in later for a much less-fuzzy broadcast.

Posted at 2:59 AM

February 2, 2007

It's bad enough that we have to turn every year to an overgrown rodent than to modern meteorological technology for predictions about how long winter will last. It's bad enough that we are supposed to believe that Punxsutawney Phil is 121 years old, giving his predictions every years since 1886. It's bad enough that thousands of people travel to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania every year to party wildly around a glorified polkafest.

But it's simply unacceptable to realize that anyone in Toledo would be idiotic enough to try to replicate this kooky rarity. Naming the critter Huckleberry Holland may in fact make matters even worse. Where does the insanity end? Really.

Posted at 10:53 PM

February 1, 2007

"You mean you have to choose between a life without sex and a gruesome death?"

"Yes."

"Tough call ..."

Posted at 11:30 PM